Thursday, April 30, 2009
hey! you know what?!
im gonna say bye2 to this blog!
im gonna create a brand new one!
i realized that my posts are "interestingly" emotional
i'm not totally changed, but i dun want this emo blog anymore
GOODBYE "i-am-shan" !!!!!
To Be Continued...
Saturday, October 25, 2008
okai i have been doing NOTHING these days
literally nothing
i feel kinda of useless
like slacking the whole day?!
play GE if not play facebook
or re-read my books
and tmr im gonna take the comp test
and i havent studied
maybe i have given up on my waccom after all
all i can do is daydreaming
daydream that i have the waccom
and spend the whole day drawing with it
hmmmpphhh sounds so unrealistic now
im so disappointed with myself
useless bump~!
and my Fa is here!
and i show this kind of attitude
maybe im asking for DEATH after all
geez
THIS IS BAD~!
To Be Continued...
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I'm updating for the sake of updating. Haha. Exam is over and the result is not great obviously. Happy and sad about it. But anyway it's over. Can't do anything to change it. It's obviously my own fault and I'm the only one who can 'repair' it LOL.
So right now I'm waiting for him like an idiot. But i know i won't regret. LOL! And i learn something that is obviously very very important. Something that I learned from my failure and something that we have to avoid. Even that person agrees with me.
CARELESSNESS KILLS...
wakaka. It's dark, it's going to rain. Although i love rainy days, i really wish it will not rain right now.
There are so many things happening around me, that i think i will have to give up. i can't catch up. Maybe i should be selfish for once in a while. But I don't like it that way. That will be dull. But it's very tiring.
Nightmares and twisted dreams haunt me at night. Unexpected events greet me in the day. Sadness comes, and happiness goes just as soon as it arrives. But sadness is not a great deal as well. The more 'torturous' thing is dilemma(s). With it comes uncertainty. I hate it. I HATE IT.
Right, now is not the time to emo. I have been wanting to cry. And I have been trying to put on a brave front. I know it's no use crying over spilled milk. Like I told you, it's over. 'sides, it's alright. But if i don't cry, it will all pile up inside my heart. It will be worse. It's so 'unhealthy'. I will have a bad headache and bla bla bla. Maybe more nightmares? But when i think it's the right time to cry, I can't cry. No tears. I will end up laughing at my own silliness.
I asked him: If you have a daughter, what do you want her to achieve? A1s and nothing less?!
I was not prepared for his answer obviously, for he told me :
No. I just want my daughter to be happy, happy with whatever she achieves. It doesn't need to be an A1, but if my daughter is happy, I will be happy too. I will be very sad when she is sad with her own result.
Imagine how touched i was. Oh well. I guess that is the way my parents must be feeling too. Sometimes, i think he is just too perfect and wise, that he scares me. He is young. But that must be the same reason I idolize him.
Geez. He is so different from the old times...He is very good in comforting me. This is really bad. What if I need his help one day, when he is not around?That would be very depressing to me...
To Be Continued...
Friday, August 01, 2008
okai i dun feel like elaborating stuffs today. so ill just write what im thinking rite now in points, RANDOMLY:
- there have been hints on where ill be going after sec schl
- i really want the Bamboo waccom thing! esp since i have my photoshop back now
- im still wondering whether i shuld go ahead with the plan
- uh oh i just found some cool cartoons of hitler and stalin for the project...having difficulty interpreting them tho
- just now during ch i drew hitler's and stalin's face(with their distinct styles of mustouche...uh how to spell it?) ON MY TEXTBOOK
- rehearsal again today. FULL DRESS!
- feel damn upset with chem...grrrr
- what will be tested on mon for english? o.o
- ate 'sup mutiara'
- there was a damn jam on my way home at 6.
- and...i dunno what else to write now...
okay...that' what i need to say today. LOLS. now wad shuld i do?
To Be Continued...
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
okai im back. i just realized that i actually have a lot to say. and btw regarding the pictures for the suzhou trip, im too lazy to upload them on my blog. just go to my friendster if u want to see. =P
todae received a maths com test result. im so disappointed. but others are even more disappointed (or so i hope). i hope they are human enuff to feel sad. lols not tt i want them to feel sad. =.= and i know she is upset too. she said all those craps but actually she feels the opposite. haiz wadever. complicated.
uh now i want to talk bout choir again. lols. i know we live to sing. but, i think they shuld give us a break. my voice cannot make it already. i feel so sick and tired. AND I AM MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY TIRED TOO! we had just come back from suzhou, and now they ask us to rehearse for the award day and national day thingy. maybe if im not sick, i will enjoy singing. but i feel so sick and everytime i try to sing, i will feel very disgusted by the sound. and i got an ear block. so i cant hear the other choir members. geez.
okai change topic. uh oh. just now there were lots of things in my mind. but now i forget wad i want to write aldy. x.x aaaarrrgghh i got STM!
ugh i remember! okai so i am sick and tired...of what i dunno. but im just feeling emo but i try very hard to smile. so, everytime i emo, i will talk to myself. not aloud. o.o as in inside my head. uggghhh dun get the wrong idea. im not crazy (or so i think) LAWLS. and actually its not exactly " to myself". i will imagine that im talking to a person in my mind. so for eg if im angry with someone, i will imagine that person in my mind and nag at him or her. LOLs.
oh well...RLY got nth else to say. So bye!
To Be Continued...
wakakak! finally i changed the skin. this skin is a bit weird. not very nice, i know. but who cares. i just want a new skin. LOLs. and it is STORM! zomg Storm! =.='' im crazy about him. lols. cant wait for the game to be released. harhar. kay tts all i want to say todae. hehe byee. cya,hopefully soon. =D
To Be Continued...