My Love Terubozu!!

changing blog

2009-04-30T16:54:00.001+08:00

hey! you know what?!
im gonna say bye2 to this blog!
im gonna create a brand new one!

i realized that my posts are "interestingly" emotional
i'm not totally changed, but i dun want this emo blog anymore

GOODBYE "i-am-shan" !!!!!

speechless

2008-10-25T21:02:00.002+08:00

okai i have been doing NOTHING these days

literally nothing

i feel kinda of useless

like slacking the whole day?!

play GE if not play facebook

or re-read my books

and tmr im gonna take the comp test

and i havent studied

maybe i have given up on my waccom after all

all i can do is daydreaming

daydream that i have the waccom

and spend the whole day drawing with it

hmmmpphhh sounds so unrealistic now

im so disappointed with myself

useless bump~!

and my Fa is here!

and i show this kind of attitude

maybe im asking for DEATH after all

geez

THIS IS BAD~!

update

2008-10-18T16:05:00.002+08:00

I'm updating for the sake of updating. Haha. Exam is over and the result is not great obviously. Happy and sad about it. But anyway it's over. Can't do anything to change it. It's obviously my own fault and I'm the only one who can 'repair' it LOL.

So right now I'm waiting for him like an idiot. But i know i won't regret. LOL! And i learn something that is obviously very very important. Something that I learned from my failure and something that we have to avoid. Even that person agrees with me.

CARELESSNESS KILLS...

wakaka. It's dark, it's going to rain. Although i love rainy days, i really wish it will not rain right now.

There are so many things happening around me, that i think i will have to give up. i can't catch up. Maybe i should be selfish for once in a while. But I don't like it that way. That will be dull. But it's very tiring.

Nightmares and twisted dreams haunt me at night. Unexpected events greet me in the day. Sadness comes, and happiness goes just as soon as it arrives. But sadness is not a great deal as well. The more 'torturous' thing is dilemma(s). With it comes uncertainty. I hate it. I HATE IT.

Right, now is not the time to emo. I have been wanting to cry. And I have been trying to put on a brave front. I know it's no use crying over spilled milk. Like I told you, it's over. 'sides, it's alright. But if i don't cry, it will all pile up inside my heart. It will be worse. It's so 'unhealthy'. I will have a bad headache and bla bla bla. Maybe more nightmares? But when i think it's the right time to cry, I can't cry. No tears. I will end up laughing at my own silliness.

I asked him: If you have a daughter, what do you want her to achieve? A1s and nothing less?!

I was not prepared for his answer obviously, for he told me :
No. I just want my daughter to be happy, happy with whatever she achieves. It doesn't need to be an A1, but if my daughter is happy, I will be happy too. I will be very sad when she is sad with her own result.

Imagine how touched i was. Oh well. I guess that is the way my parents must be feeling too. Sometimes, i think he is just too perfect and wise, that he scares me. He is young. But that must be the same reason I idolize him.

Geez. He is so different from the old times...He is very good in comforting me. This is really bad. What if I need his help one day, when he is not around?That would be very depressing to me...

random events of the day

2008-08-01T20:08:00.003+08:00

okai i dun feel like elaborating stuffs today. so ill just write what im thinking rite now in points, RANDOMLY:

- there have been hints on where ill be going after sec schl
- i really want the Bamboo waccom thing! esp since i have my photoshop back now
- im still wondering whether i shuld go ahead with the plan
- uh oh i just found some cool cartoons of hitler and stalin for the project...having difficulty interpreting them tho
- just now during ch i drew hitler's and stalin's face(with their distinct styles of mustouche...uh how to spell it?) ON MY TEXTBOOK
- rehearsal again today. FULL DRESS!
- feel damn upset with chem...grrrr
- what will be tested on mon for english? o.o
- ate 'sup mutiara'
- there was a damn jam on my way home at 6.
- and...i dunno what else to write now...

okay...that' what i need to say today. LOLS. now wad shuld i do?

im back

2008-07-30T17:41:00.005+08:00

okai im back. i just realized that i actually have a lot to say. and btw regarding the pictures for the suzhou trip, im too lazy to upload them on my blog. just go to my friendster if u want to see. =P

todae received a maths com test result. im so disappointed. but others are even more disappointed (or so i hope). i hope they are human enuff to feel sad. lols not tt i want them to feel sad. =.= and i know she is upset too. she said all those craps but actually she feels the opposite. haiz wadever. complicated.

uh now i want to talk bout choir again. lols. i know we live to sing. but, i think they shuld give us a break. my voice cannot make it already. i feel so sick and tired. AND I AM MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY TIRED TOO! we had just come back from suzhou, and now they ask us to rehearse for the award day and national day thingy. maybe if im not sick, i will enjoy singing. but i feel so sick and everytime i try to sing, i will feel very disgusted by the sound. and i got an ear block. so i cant hear the other choir members. geez.

okai change topic. uh oh. just now there were lots of things in my mind. but now i forget wad i want to write aldy. x.x aaaarrrgghh i got STM!

ugh i remember! okai so i am sick and tired...of what i dunno. but im just feeling emo but i try very hard to smile. so, everytime i emo, i will talk to myself. not aloud. o.o as in inside my head. uggghhh dun get the wrong idea. im not crazy (or so i think) LAWLS. and actually its not exactly " to myself". i will imagine that im talking to a person in my mind. so for eg if im angry with someone, i will imagine that person in my mind and nag at him or her. LOLs.

oh well...RLY got nth else to say. So bye!

new skin again!

2008-07-30T16:18:00.002+08:00

wakakak! finally i changed the skin. this skin is a bit weird. not very nice, i know. but who cares. i just want a new skin. LOLs. and it is STORM! zomg Storm! =.='' im crazy about him. lols. cant wait for the game to be released. harhar. kay tts all i want to say todae. hehe byee. cya,hopefully soon. =D

choir suzhou competition

2008-07-25T17:53:00.005+08:00

omg. so sorrie. long time never blog yeah. haha. i think everything that i write in this blog is all about choir. coz the last time i posted it was about choir camp. and now im gonna talk bout the suzhou competition.

okai so generally it was very fun. =D and i barely wanted to go home. srsly i love the place although it is very similar to banjar. no "shopping mall". the ppl anyhow cross roads. anyhow drive. very smoky or hazy. Their only difference : the haze is white instead of black, the road looks somehow "newer" than in bjm. but anyway, tts for the CITY. the industrial park is SO MUCH different. the industrial park is like Singapore. DAMN clean, although its quite hazy due to the dusts from the constructions. but i like the place coz its very very simple. the lifestyle is so relaxed and simple. and i even start thinking of going there after i finish my sec school. crazy heh! well smtms i feel its a crazy idea. but, i dun think its a bad idea.

anw let's talk about the tour part first. we went to the city gate, the silk mill factory and the suzhou high school. the places are COOL. what such a general word. but i cant be bothered to explain. I'lljust show you the pictures next time. what i want to talk bout now is the school. its just so huge that i felt like transfering into it immediately. i felt like staying in the schl. wakakka! after much thoughts, its not a bad idea ye know. i can learn chinese and make parents happy also. wakaka. but i think it will be a waste of time. =.= i would rather go to a language schl. =P my future is unknown and there are so many possibilities. i just cant plan it right now. anyway i rly want to go to the schl. <3 tho i dunno rly know why. it has charmed me. LOL!

okai! now let's talk bout the competition. i was saving the best topic for the last. the competition was bad actually. we were rushing like mad and we didnt do what mr fong had told us to. but we were damn loud. =D So we prayed very hard days and nights. and we won the gold! and so we went into the grand finals. and tt was when we showed our real standard. we sang so well that we came in third!!! we came right after the adult choirs. woohoO! i wont ask for anything more. but i rly want to tell you this : WE WERE REALLY DAMN GOOD! when we sang, there was this warm feeling. finally we found our voice and it was such a cozy feeling. it was so touching but it was not enough to make me cry on the spot yet. but i was jumping up and down after our final performance. i was SOOOO happy. and that was one of the best days in my life.

if any choir member ever read my blog or read this post, i just want to tell you this:

We are actually good. VERY GOOD. WE ARE THE GOLD WITH HONOURS CHOIR. It's just up to us whether we want to show them wad we really got. JUst remember this everytime we perform. DON'T ever be NERVOUS! Sing as if it is just another practice. Let the stress evaporate away. ENJOY the music. We sing not to win, but to let them hear our music. Let them enjoy it too so sing it well. sooner or later we HAVE to break this BAD habit of ours which is RUSHING. every conductors always complain about it. SO just like mr fong said, improve and move on. we have to be better than our last performance. we can do it! becoz we RAWKS!

Choir Camp 2008

2008-06-03T18:19:00.002+08:00

okies sorrie..long time no blog. xD

okie just came back from choir camp. it is the first time afer many many yrs tht choir organized overnight camp for us. wweeeee. love the comittee and the seniors~! thank u for giving us such a memorable event.

okies so actually i jus wanna say i suck as a leader. srsly~ i think vivian did most of the talking and other stuffs. i just sat down there and stared at them. haizz. but at least the bonds with teh juniors is strengthened. an we had a great time being together as a choir.

okai basically im happy yet not happy with the camp duration. 2 days and 1 night. its gd coz i dun nd to sleep on the floor 2 times. dun nd to rush to bathe. BUT~ somehow the camp was just so fun that i couldnt bare to leave. LOL. i want to play again the bouncy chairs and other games. and i want to go back to the "campfire" where all the seniors performed for us and we performed for them. everyone had fun together. it was a vey sweet moment. and i won't forget it. and how i wish every choir practice will be like that. not the fun part. but the bonding part. after the camp, we understand and communicate with one another better. but during practices, it wasnt like that. so i wish it will be like this from now on. so that we can produce a warm sound for the audience. and of course for ourselves. remember those time when we sing "If" with mr low? We cried. Yes, we did. Becos we were touched by the emotion in our voices. we were touched by the warmth of the sound. and do u remember i almost cried during the national parde 2007 when singing "If" for mr low for the last time? oh well, i miss those moment.

okai so now im exhausted. couldn't sleep last night becoz of the hard floor. my butt hurts~!! and during the games, kept knocking into things. so~ my whole body hurts. haizzzz. but it was FUN~! =D especially designing Xin Yuan's costume for CNTM. he looked so cute larrhh. xD din't expect it to be so fun.

well i think tts all i want to say. i lazy to type liao. xD buaaaii cya. i will blog again. SOON~!

satisfied?

2008-05-24T18:03:00.002+08:00

IM SATISFIED WITH IT! rly rly happy and satisfied. but why cant u? why do u always want more? why are u so greedy? why don't u understand? and i dun understand u as well. basically i just dun like they way u think of it. u are just biased. biased against the two of us. and to u, im falling into 'that' category. which im not ashamed of. but find it quite irritating that u think that way.

fine. wadever. not happy not my business. coz im happy with it and i accept it. and u have thrown me into a dilemma. wad do i rly want to do in life? basically complete my o lvl and slack for the 2 yrs before goign to uni in UK. that wad i rly want to do in my life. tts what i plan. and i just hope u accept it. i just want to be an architect. i dun care wad u say. and i dun want to go anywhere else! i just dun want to be alone! i want to stay with someone im close with, whoever tt person is. i just dun want to be left out. because 12 yrs of loneliness is enough for me. i just dun want to face it anymore. eventhough i was not exactly lonely those times. =P but i think it was sad enough. to me at least.

fine enuf crapping. and enuf emo-ing. just have fun. forget abt wad has been done. what has happened. haizzz.

anw, i just want to say sth. everything will not end, as long as u are till alive. u can interprete it anyway u like. whether it means sth good or bad. coz it means both to me. ahha. anw. byeee. cya! =D

Random topics

2008-05-23T17:31:00.002+08:00

Since i have not been updating for a long time, I shall choose some random topics to talk about. Well let's start with todae.

Todae is Family day! I'm not sure about other parts of teh world, but in Singapore this is THE FAMILY DAY! this is when family will go dinner together and spend time together. But well, sadly my brother is not here even though my parents and my sis are here. We are lacking one member here. And sometimes when i remember him, I feel angry and sad. He is the only man we sisters can lean on to(aside from our father, who is aldy old). But he is somewhere else, far away from us. It would be much better if he is with us. Oh well, I hope we will be together again. This reminds me of the New Year this year. It was the first time we celebrated New Year together. It was the first time we count-down-ed to 12 o'clock together. It was teh first time we didn't care about the price we paid for that BLOODY EXPENSIVE dinner, because we treasure the time we are together. HAIZZZZZZ. Let's put it simply, I MISS MY BROTHER!

okay, let's stop being emo here. So, because of the Family Day thingy, choir ended at 4.30 today. Which is like so early. compared to other practices. =P and tts a great thing although not really great. Because we need to buck up a lot since we sound SUCKS. haizzz. but because of choir, i can't go back HOME because i have to come back to school almost everyday. and i'm very irritated by thath fact. but what to do? competition is coming and im participating. it has become my responsibility and i won't run away anymore. it's time to face the fact and be brave! xD and i feel very good today because i suddenly feel this "LOVE" thingy when i talk to my sec1s juniors. which is very rare, pls~! when i saw them the first time, i thought they just couldn't make it. BUT, they are actually not that bad, and they are very kind. and if im patient, i can teach them slowly, and ignite the passion for singing within them. LOL sound so chim horh.

Another thing is my holiday assignments. There are tonnes of them, and i'm sure there will be more to come on monday. which is chem remidial. O.O OMG~! i wonder whether i can finish them by the end of hols . AND the question that has been bothering me is : is this holiday? is stay-at-home-and-study is their definition of HOLDAY?!
that rly sucks. but~ O lvl is next yr and of course we have to "RUN"~! and there comes the tonnes pf homework. xD

and talking about running~ i think i shuld practice running during the hols. I RLY DUN WANT TO FAIL MY 2.4~!!! OMG~! even though it's over, i dun want to fail again next yr. besides i need to lose weight. im just getting fatter as days pass by. this is depressing and saddening rly.

Now, let's talk about movies. there are so many nice movies at this time of the year. Indiana Jones, Narnia, Get Smart, bla bla bla. AND most importantly, the nicest sweetest movie which i watched on monday, "The Accuracy of Death". or "Sweet Rain"? xD anw, it's Takeshi Kaneshiro again. OMG i love him. >.< his acting is like so~ CUTE. he is very good in acting dumb. but his voice is rly very deep and sexeh. xDDD and anw, the story is very nice. U SHOULD WATCH IT! u wont regret it. and i love the movie theme, "Sunny Day". and if u watch the movie, you will hear this song being played, when the shinigami finally got to see the Sun after years and years of seeing rain. He did not know what is sun. He never saw the blue sky before, until that day. It was rly very touching at the last part of the movie. haiz. sobs.

okai anw i have written a lot todae. i shall stop here. khekhe. got loads of hw, remember. okies byeee cya. i shall type again soon!

Music

2008-05-09T20:30:00.002+08:00

haha. i'm here to blog again. dunno why im in the mood to blog tonite. basically its just some random mood. LOL. oh yes and today im moody again. dunno why also. these days have been feeling like this. its a torment.

anw. let's talk bout sth. the title todae is songs.
u know sth? when i was a child, the only songs i heard are rubbish songs. haha. if u know, all those "dangdut" and some nonsensical indonesian songs which i din understand at all. they were so ugly and i din like them. thus i started to hate listening to songs. HAHA. but when i was primary 4 when my sis came back to indonesia along with her laptop, she always plays all those western songs and also anime songs. and some nice indonesian songs too. I start to like them eventually. and i also listend to those orchestra song. =.=''' zomg. i sound like some old grandma sitting on the sofa sipping a glass of tea with the wind blowing on me through the open window and the oldies singing at the background. GOSH! okai anw, orchestra songs are not bad. they are good to make u sleep. =.='''

anw. so that is when i start to listen to songs. and tts also why i like anime songs so much. becoz they are the first type of songs i learned to appreaciate. and bout singing. i think that is also teh first time i started to sing along some songs. OMG. that was a little bit too late isn't it? like pri4? alrite so basically my life before then was very very dull. now i cant imagine it myself. and i dunno whether that is good or not. i mean during that time i was very innocent due to my ignorance. oh well, ignorance is not always good. LOL. but~ i miss those times. but we cant always run away can we?

okay nvm. im starting to drift off again. u see, tts why i always get bad marks for compo. because i cant focus on sth. SOBS. wad a sad fact. haiz.

alrite. i think tts all for todae. my eyes are sore. geez. bye and cya. OH! MYE IS OVER!YAY!

all goes wrong

2008-04-03T21:14:00.002+08:00

it just feels wrong. i dunno. maybe im just a paranoid. but~ i still have a feeling that u are treating me like ur puppet. u are doing all these because u want sth from me.

alrite lets talk bout sth else. oh yeah its him. i dunno whether he is serious or not. i cant believe he will sacrifice that much just to make sure that i will succeed. srsly~ i always thik he is an outsider. but~ i dunno whatd my thoughts of him nao? is he still an outsider? he is more like a family nao? i just cant believe it. and im angry. is he just fooling anrd? or is he serious? either way im mad. how can he do this just to convince me?
oh yeah~ too much downs in a year. srsly. its not even a yr. its hardly 4 months and i have cried too much.

im scared of the future. im trying to run away from the presence. im trying to return to the past even though everything was not always pleasant. i just want to return to those innocent times where i only play a fool. dun nd to think of anythign else. its just a headache.

IDIOT

2008-02-29T21:09:00.002+08:00

I know im a idiot. BUT U ARE EVEN MORE IDIOT! go and die ± ±! i will haunt u forvere. and i will remember ur weird nonsensical nickname forever! give me my mullah u fool!

okie i know im dumb. since this morning there is this niggling feeling inside me. i know sth bad gonna happen. but i was too careless. i was too glad. im just so dumb.

anw...lets talk abt last nite's performance. =D
last song went out of tune. that is i know for sure.
it was fun and audience was enjoying it. maybe not all.
i was singing out loud. at least that is wad i think.
i was trying not to go out of tune. yet maybe i still did a bit.
i was very high for the 2nd half of the performance. i even took pict with doreen, with very funneh pose. i couldnt stop laughing.
i was nervous for the 1st half. my hands were cold when i was singing.
we were having fun wearing the retro costumes. we really looked retro!
and i looked like ahma ahma. LOL. at least that wad i think, esp if i wore my specs O.O
i sang thank u for the music, trying not to cry. i remebered mr low. and i really wished he could hear us. our voices soaring to the sky. but i guess it was not loud enough. it was out of tune as well remember. oh well i dun wish him to hear the out of tune part. but i realy wish he was there, watching each of us growing up.

and it was a very memorable performance. and i hope the seniors were enjoying it too. sorrie we couldnt sing for u. but we really hope that u enjoyed the performance. i hope u will miss us. and do come back to visit us. we will miss u. u have thought us a lot of things. and we are becoming the seniors soon. i really wish ths time wont arrive. becoz i just cant do it. next yr is syf. and im really scared. are we up to standard yet? and there are those juniors. whom we must train. who may refuse to learn. who may have attitude problem towards choir. it is just too tough.

it is a very emo moment...

emo again

2008-02-21T18:16:00.003+08:00

we cried. yes we cried. and deep in my heart, i promised. i promised that i will do my best, just for you. and we will. let's work together to make this the best and memorable one. thank you for those words. thank you for missing us. thank you for your encouragement. i won't let you down. we won't. after all you taught me everything. you taught us the meaning of confidence. you taught us the meaning of living to sing. you taught us the beauty of songs. you taught us the importance of each note in the songs. and i will not let u down. we love you! and we miss you...
we will sing those songs~ for u~ even though u will not be physically there, i hope that our voices will reach your heart.

okaiz. thats it. haha. but im not finished yet. i want to say sorrie to that guy. lol. sorrie for being mean to u juz now. =P though i know u wont read this lah. LOL. i really feel bad. D=
kay thats all. buaaaiii cyaaaa

harrloww

2008-02-16T16:36:00.002+08:00

kay im here again. to blog of course. school? haha. like that lorh. sec 3 life sucks. lol. i long to slack again. to skip tuitions and homework. lol. isnt that a good idea? but if i do that, surely my o lvl result will be sucks like HELL. xDD
okai. i think i will be emo-ing again. lol sorrie. i always come here when im emo. so this blog shall be called an The Emo Blog. LOL. this blog is abt the emo side of Shanny. hmm. i shall put that as the welcoming phrase. haha.
anw. why am i emo? firstly, the performance is coming. im scared like HELL. the past few days, im scared of making mistakes. but todae's practice, i realy didnt care. i sang out as loud as i could and be as confident as i could be. who cares wad they say? who cares wad are they whispering abt? just be ignorant. and prove to them that u can do it. be as thcik skin as u can. but make sure u sing the correct thing. that is wad i did todae. AND i really felt much better. c'mon, don't be a coward!
secondly, i think im just dumb. isn't it obvious that~~~? nvm. i shall not tell u this second reason. it's personal. but i really feel so dumb.
thirdly, i failed my first A maths class test. and again i feel so stupid. wth was i thinking? i was so kan chiong until i couldnt think properly? i was so scared i couldnt finsih it that in the end i really couldnt finsih it? i really feel so dumb, can.
fourthly, i hate that person who keeps whinning. srsly, dun whine to me. u dun realize wad mistakes u have been doing. and u whine to me and complain. wth. im a human too okay. i have my own opinion. and i have my own perspective of u. and i think u are a whinner and u are very irritating. stop whinning and plz think abt it. u are the one who has been slacking. im the maths rep so wad? i cant do anything. u can't finish ur homework so wad? tell mrs loh lah. accept ur punishment. dun drag me in.
alrite i think that's all.
WAIT i have not finished. I WANT PS3!!! im going to buy it when ff13 series are realesed!!! I WILL SAVE AS MUCH MONEY AS I CAN. i want to play ff versus 13!!! esp when there is that handsome prince. >.< he is so handsome can. kyaaa kyaaa kyaaa. but~~ they say players are going to hate him. O.O so i dunno. his face is handsome. but i dunno wad are they going to make of his characters? they say he is not a gloomy boy like squall or cloud. so like tidus? like dumb dumb like that? or like arrogant type? well ive no idea. i just hope that he is not the irritating kind. xD
I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!WEEEEEE.

it hurts

2008-02-01T17:13:00.000+08:00

Stop bothering me!
Stop disturbing me!
Leave me alone!
Let me finish!

I dunno whether to regret this or not.
But i know i have made the right choice.
So don't make me change my mind.
Please understand.
I am not special.
I am not abnormal.
I am just like u.
And I have my limit and temper too.

So, JUST STOP IT!
AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE!

----------------------------------

Alrite im done emo-ing. LOL!
long time never blogged, eh. haha! hsometimes too busy doing homework, others simply juz becoz im too lazy or busy playing. LOL. sigh. i want to play a new online game~~ im bored aldy. but i dunno wad game to play. maybe i must start playing my ps2 again. these days dunno wad online game to play liao. i juz feel nothing is up to my standard. =P i have a veeerrrrrrrryyyyyy high expectation. which is kinda irritating. lol.
i think i stop here lol. i lazy to continue. zzzzz. btw chinese new year is coming. and im going to spend it with my sis alone AT HOME. sobsobs. wad a lonely chinese new yr.

yeehha

2008-01-05T18:11:00.000+08:00

YEEEHHHAAAA! MY BLOG~!I'M BACK!
=.="""
well yea anywae. i guess i have been neglecting my blog for like~months? lolz. sad. but well i was not in the mood to blog at all. and im here in request of SOMEONE. lolz. actually i dun really want to blog rite now. would rather play my GE or ps2. but i think and think~ well maybe just update my blog a bit larh horh. poor blog. sobs.

sooo~~~~yea im sec 3 now. its~ a borring life. ye know, its only three days. havent been months. so i guess it is not the worst part yet. it is YET to come.lolz. and i wonder whether i will survive or not. but so far its alrite.

after months of holiday, im not in the mood to study at all. and~ it feels like~ it's very hard to accept THINGS.i mean~ my brain is just lagging. cant get things into my head, really. lol. rusty brain. but i hope it is getting better. and hope it will work properly again.

and after the holiday, i decided to TRY to get rid of my singlish while talking to my school mates. its TOUGH. im used to talking in singslish. and sometimes im worried whether im making sense or not. sometimes i juz feel im talking rubbish kind of thing. lolz. admit it man~~ when u dun understand wad im talking. well yea like right now. lolz.

haha and i havent done charissa's compo!!! OMG. im really comitting suicide! u naughty, girl! how can u not done ur hw?! ur english will become worse ye know!? lol yea yea wadever. i know it very well. but~ cant help it. evrytime i do the compo, i tried to make a perfect one. and its hard and time consuming. i would just give up sooner or later. sigh. and in the end, it becomes the worst compo ever. haiz. overdoing it i guess. and becoz of tt im lazy to write now.

okai okai. i guess tts a loooongpost of craps. HAHA! thank you for reading and visiting my blog anyway. this blog looks very empty. lolz. bb cya! i will update as much as i can

bored totally bored

2007-11-19T15:02:00.000+08:00

awww man~ my nose starts to run like a tap. sobs~~ why am i sick NOW? next week im going back indo already. tsk. how can i go back in this condition?! haiz. nvm. i feel like sleeping again now. O.O i have been sleeping like siao lately. well u see. the weather is damn nice todae!!! so cold, dark~~ weee~! isnt it a perfect day to sleep? hahahz! besides, i got nothing else to do. so lets SLEEP~! good nite!!
aww man~ im becoming like someone. tt person always sleeps arnd this time and says good nite arnd this time also~ i dun want to become like him >.< coz he is sooo lame~ well im lame~ but~ his lameness is just so~~ OVERWHELMING. in a bad way.

puke

2007-11-18T19:43:00.000+08:00

yoz~! well last night, we went shopping~!!! window shopping to be more exact. haha. and we went to eat paperlunch(?). is that how u spell it? haha. anw, im having sorethroat. wonder how am i going to sing during choir~? haiz. so troublesome. i hate this. and after eating paperlunch(?) it became worse. isn't it obvious? lolz. and i drank ice green tea somemore! ice! omg. so it's totally my fault that im having a sorethroat. but this is really a pain~! and im not in the mood to eat. i guess the only way i will lose weight is to be sick. coz wadever i do, i will never lose weight. unless if i am sick. when im sick, i can't eat. and thats why i can lose weight. so being sick is advantagous after all. but its so~~~~ torturing!!!!! ARGGHHHH~! and i think im having chicken pox. O.O""" coz abt 3 days ago, got these red dots on my arms. total is 6. but they do not look really obvious now. so i guess its not chicken pox? maybe some mosquitoe bites? but six is a lot~ dun u think so?
well, let's talk about last night. was watching the lights on orchard road. they are really pretty. and they are white. they reminded me of white christmas. ^^ isnt it wonderful if we got to see snow during christmas? haha. dream on, shanny! =P and i thought i saw many ppl ytd. i mean those whom i saw in school? u know the muslim IT guy? the one with mdm sri all the time? i think i saw him. and i saw a schoolmate whom i know not. lolz. or maybe i was hallucinating? O.O"" thats dangerous. but u see, i was quite sick. soooo~ why not?

happy b'dae to me

2007-11-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

haha. to readers, im sorrie that i was so emo on the 14th. but plz let me be emo again tonite. hahaz. someone unexpected bought me a cake as a prezzie. choc ice cream cake. yummie~! im damn full todae. so~ i blew the candle lorh. on candle only. xD kinda lame. and i made my birthday wish. hahaz. actually i didnt really know wad to wish. since not many of my wishes has come true so far. so~i have lost faith in HOPPING. i can't believe in just WISHING & HOPPING anymore. but~ maybe u can guess wad was the wish that i made~? hahaz. try to guess!
and ytd jie yenny came. xD so happy. went to airport straight after choir. well i wont go to details. coz im too sleepy now. so she gave me presents. and this morning she went to bpp. haiz. and this morning i received to many birthday wishes from my couzins, friends, and my friends in indo. xD thanks everyone. im actually touched that so many ppl remember my b'dae. i expected only one or two person(s) will remember. muahahaha~! since i cant really remember other ppl's b'dae and often forget to wish them happy b'dae. anw, thank you! arigatou!!!!!

Solitary Serenade

2007-11-14T18:39:00.001+08:00

Solitary Serenade lyrics. can listen to it under the "etc" on my blog. well its very hard to hear wad is she singing. not a very good english

When I see your perfect smile
My heart will cry
My broken heart will hide itself in the shadow
In this solitary space
Seems like it floating in
To the darkest night

Reachin’ for the stars
Talkin’ to the moon
With that bravery
When I look up to the sky
And they will pass away
Just the same way

* Hold my love again
Wishing on a night for ever
And then, and then again
I'll be myself to find a way
Hold my love again
Praying for my dream for evermore
And then, someday again
I will get through the night

All the things unsaid
All the things undone
Lock me in this place
Never let me see the truth
And they will hide away
Just the same way

* Repeat

my inner feeling

2007-11-14T18:21:00.000+08:00

neee~ i will be going home soon. im happy. i can meet my couzins, my old friends, and i can eat the YUMMY FOOD. next year is coming. i will be sec3 soon. i dunno whether to be happy or not. next year will be difficult. and i won't be able to go home.this year will be the last chance. i will be able to go home only after O lvl. how i wish i can stop the time. how i wish i can always stay like this. how i wish i can stay in 2/5 forever. how i wish i can go home every end of the year. and how i wish i can meet him again. i will be going home soon. can i meet him for the last last time before i go? im scared of next year. wad if he is no longer in there? wad if he is gone? i won't be able to meet him anymore. he is very close. he is somewhere nearby. but it seems that i can't find him. everywhere i look, there is no him. it's like im lost in a crowd of people. is it just about fate? i hate it. please. i want to see him~ im running out of time.

study~

2007-11-12T11:56:00.000+08:00

well. i have had enough fun for the past few days. so i guess it's time to go back to work. im feeling sianz. but no choice. i dun feel like playing anymore. yet i dun feel like studying also. haiz~ nothing else to do. so i guess i will just choose the more advantageous way. tts is to study. SIANZ~ well yea im blogging rite now to escape for a while. xDDD
yesterday i played my PS2 again~! Ar Tonelico. xDD its the same producer as Atelier Iris'. well i like the battle system. very COOL~! xD and the story is not bad. well i havent finished playing the whole thing, but i know i will enjoy playing it. (tsk~talking abt this makes me feel like playing T.T)
and i finished watching the anime series "Haibane Renmei". i recommend this anime to you! the story is nice. and the ending is touching. xDD after this i want to watch Suzumiya Haruhi. dunno whether it's nice or not. but~ it is rated as "very good anime". LOLs. so i guess its good after all. =P (beat around the bush~ so can spend less time on studying. wkwkwkwk)
todae's weather is so nice, btw. very cold and dark. xD a very good time to sleep. zzzz. xDD omg~! don't sleep! coz i just woke up~! =PPPP lalalala. im a pig.lalalla. as u can see, im damn bored. and tts why i start to study again. WTH~! haizzzz. kk. guess its time. bb cya!

DONE

2007-11-09T16:54:00.000+08:00

this morning went to school to submit the appeal letter. mom followed of course. and we took taxi there. but u know wad happened? that Mdm Hairun took the letter and said," oh, appeal letter? okai. next week u will come back to see the new list."
I was like~ "tts all?" waste MONEY lehz! WTH! went there by taxi. One minute later we went home again. wahlao. dissapointment! *copy Leon*.
u may be wondering why i submitted it todae instead of Wed. xDD simply becoz i woke up late on Wed. hahaha~i know it's a lame reason =.= and i hesitated a bit. haiz. my fickle-mindedness is just SO GREAT. haiz~ anyone knows how to cure it? =D and actually on Wed i almost went nuts. i cried juz becoz i couldnt decide which class to go to. i couldnt take it. guess i was just being emo. ^.^" but wadever option i take, i guess i will just live with it. good or bad. right or wrong. who cares.
haha~ me and my bro also had a very funny chat yesterday:

Kor: hmmm~ so u are serious about going to architecture?
Me: Yea.
Kor: any other course u are interested in?
Me: hmm~ i dunno~! maybe sth related to Art?
Kor: sth related to art~~
Me: .....
Kor: music?
Me: err. no plz. i can't play any instrument
Kor: but u are in choir
Me: well, sometimes im tone deaf
Kor: hm?
Me: i can't sing a new song if someone has not told me how to sing it
Kor: icic. so that doesnt mean u are tone deaf la!
Me: errrr. but sometimes i dunno if i sing out of tune
Kor: ah, okay. no music for u then
Me: xDDD
Kor: Dance?
Me: O.O no plz! OMG! i will break my bones!
Kor: ..............*speechless*
Me: hahaha! and plz dun ask me to be an artist! emo emo type.
Kor: haha. clothes designer?
Me: hmmm~ i dun mind. but it would be better if i become a GAME DESIGNER!
Kor: whoah! u will be my favorite sister! (he is a gamer~juz like me)
Me: haha~! i will make sure u play the games i create!
Kor: hahaha xDD
Me: er but no plz. mom will kill me. (mom was glaring at me! scary~)

-The End-

LOLOLOL!well i find it really funny.

and with the help of my sis, i decided wad to write for charissa's compo already. and it's lame lahz.
Story:
there is a girl who is really good in playing violin. SHE IS A REAL MAESTRO! so~juz before the day of performance, she practises the songs she is going to perform. so~ she went to the store room, opened the window, and let the wind in. the wind causes the strings of the thousand of violins inseide the room to vibrate.BUT~ she can't find THE TUNE! the TUNE OF HER BELOVED VIOLIN. yes she got many violins and she can just choose one of the many. but THIS VIOLIN is one of a kind. SO SHE CANT PERFORM WITHOUT IT! but where is it?! "IT'S STOLEN!" yea she is scared *drama here and there* she informs all the maids. asks them to find the violin. search every corner of the house. but can't find it. so she is going to call the police now. BUT sudennly one of her maid screamed," I FOUND IT!" the girl asked," what? where is it?!" sooo~the answer is~~~ ITS UNDER HER BED!
well well~ she is a forgetfull girl. the night before, so practised the songs before going to bed. since she was too sleepy and tired to go to the storeroom, she placed it under her bed. O.O"
-The End-

oh man. i think tts really lame. HAHAHHAHA! *stomach ache* im getting lamer everyday.
kk, i think tts all for my post todae. xDDD

DILEMMA

2007-11-06T18:20:00.001+08:00

IM CONFUSED~! should i appeal or not?! should i stay or should i get out?! half of me say "STAY". BUT the other half say "GO 3/4"~~~~~OMG~!OMGOMGOMG
why stay?
triple sci provides more chance. if in the future i suddenly change my mind and forget abt architecture, at least i still have a chance to choose another course. it may be easier to get good o lvl result. and i need that result to get into JC and get into architecture course. and there is stella and atrina too~!
Why NOT!?
coz~~ it is "slacker"~! and i also want to have FUN. instead of studying like some crazy nutty person. besides, my english needs some improvement. and since its slacker, i can spend more of time on it. haiz. and if i go to architecture, i dun nd any bio chem or physics. i only need to be pro in my ART~! weee~! even if i go to civil engineering, i will only need mathz chem and physics. SO~! BIO is totally IRRELEVANT~! muahahaha. i can slack worh. and there is YIQING~! and there are many people out there who want to get into triple sci. so i can give a chance to them.

SO~according to the points above. I chose to appeal out!!! WEEE! wish me luck. wish i can go to 3/4. wish that zhiyuan can get into triple. and so i can switch place with him. xDD khekhekhekhe.

Forgotten Message

2007-11-04T16:29:00.000+08:00

Dear Brother,
haha~ i know u will never read this message. becoz i never even gave u this blog address. and ths message will be attached to this blog only. so i bet u will NEVER EVER read this. anywae, happy b'dae! u are the most handsome bro that i ever have! and plz stay tt way. i still want to boost arnd and tell ppl that i have the most handsome bro ever! and i want to make them jealous! =PPPP i wish a happy b'dae todae and i wish u will be long-lived and live happily ever after. lols. so drama. hahaz. bet u will be cursing me if u read this message. coz my english is so~~HORRIBLE. yea i know. i can't match ur L33T english. lols. xDDD kay. this is my b'dae message for u. mwah! *luv*
Your Little Sister,
Shanny

Dear Tiara,
Oi!BAKA! i know u will never read this message on time. i dun even think u go visit my blog?! huh!?grrr! where have u been, bakaero!? well i have been playing GE and not been online for quite a while. and maybe u were online when i wasnt. well. at least u must go online at least once a week. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG U HAVE NOT BEEN ONLINE ALDY!? 2 weeks!yeah!2 weeks. where did u go? where do u go? now its so hard to inform u tt i will be coming back soon. i long to confide. and~ur b'dae is coming~! my b'dae too. well i dun care abt my b'dae. but how will i wish u happy b'dae when u will not be online?! sms!? my handphone is a bit SIAO one ah~ later when i am sending ur message, it will switch off by itself. my handphone is not trustworthy at all. NOW~ even ur sis doesnt know where u go!?GOSH! wad happened to u, man~ and ur mom has been online too~! WTH~ of course i wont dare to ask her. :X xDDD not saying tt ur mom is scary or wad. its just paiseh. u really dissapear "tanpa jejak"? :XXXX well. guess i dun want to lecture u any longer for now. lols. anywae i will be going back on 27nov. bb cya.
Your Couz
shanny

well tts it. guess they are undelivered messages somehow.

I GOT NO LIFE

2007-11-03T17:59:00.000+08:00

really~i feel dead~ the only things i do everyday: sleep, eat like siao, play GE, being bitten by the crazy hamster, stone in front of computer, and of course go toilet to shit and bathe.
there is nothing else to do?got~ STUDY~ but i dun feel like studying. i have been telling that to u many many times. i dun feel like studying at all. i look at the book while my mind actually wanders off somewhere. WHAT IS THIS?! my mind automatically switches off. i really feel dead. and now im here just to blabber on and on about this crap.
and i think i gain weight. O.O"" OMIGOD!NUUUUUU~~!!
do u think i need to change my skin btw? im not bored with this one yet. since i rarely blog and do not really visit my blog. xDDD hmmm. but i dunno wad to change it with?? gimme suggestion. but i dun even think i'll be in the mood to make the new skin. bleahs. forget it. i'll just stick with this until the time where i really want to vomit when looking at it.
I MISS HOME~! i suddenly feel emo again~~ i want to go home~ i want to go~! i want to meet my dear couzins. and ytd actually my dearest couz sms-ed me asking when i would be coming home. sobsob. im so touched. he is such a dear boy. huhuhuhu~~ T.T well wad to do. he is one of the couz whom i am close with. xDD although he is a very naughty boy. xDDD
kk.shall go nao. bb. cya. wonder when will i be blogging again~

Sayonara

2007-11-01T10:48:00.000+08:00

Gomenasai. i didnt attend the halloween party. well, basically Jeremy's house is too far away from my house. and i dun like being in an unfamiliar place even if i have someone who i know around me. besides, my mom didnt allow me. but im really sorrie. i want to attend to. but i couldnt. im sorrie to spoil your night, 2/5...
HAPPY BELATED HALLOWEEN anyway. well, these days are like usual. play GE and draw GE characters. sianz. what i draw is so different from the actual characters. I think u will take my drawings as an insult to GE L33t characters. :X but my skills have limit, too. XDDD
i feel as if im DEAD. i have no more life. every second is spent on GE. what is this!? i dun live inside GE. i can live without GE. but i dunno wad else to do other than GE-ing. yes im blogging rite now. yes im listening to songs rite now. guess these are ways to spend my time "healthily".
NO? or maybe i MUST study!? OMG~! i can't stand studying anymore. maybe next year, but not now. its holiday. but holiday is supposed to be spent by brushing up my subjects. but srsly, i dun feel like studying at all. i dun want to do comprehension, anymore!!! grrrrr. nor summary, nor composition, nor vocabs!

kay kay

2007-10-26T14:03:00.000+08:00

KAY KAY..trying hard to keep this blog alive. I dun want this blog to be as dead as my sis'. D= hers is really and officially DEAD. i still want to blog. But maybe not as often as before. today is the last day of school. YEAH~!happy!
but im in a dilemma as to wad class to go. I know i had put triple sci as my first choice. but im not totally convinced. and some people keeps on telling me not to go. SIGH~! wad should i do. I dun dare to talk about this in front of HER coz SHE will start nagging again. But according to her, i have to tal to HER. AAAARRGHH~! confusing. AND my english is juz as bad as before.
and as to my dangerous-GE, my chars are already lvl 67. OMG~!lvling them up is soo difficult, can?! and i bought the wrong tactic book somemore. im supposed to buy the book for exp but i bought the book for stance. and i spent the whole G-points on it. AAAA~! WTH~! wadever~ i know u dun understand a word im talking. unless u are a gamer like me.
sianz~and sth happened today. so embarrassing, can?! and now im in a bad mood and im talking to HER with anger. i wonder how long will SHE put up with it. and i have to lie to HER. i juz dun want to talk about it anymore. i wish i could lie very well. sadly i dun and i can't.
kay~i think so far all my posts are made whenever im in a bad mood. sorrie, readers. coz i also spoil ur mood after u read these posts.
anywae, let's see wad i will be doing during the hols? choir practises? gaming?read books? then wad else? eat?! SIAO~! im fat already. i need to lose weight. lose weight so i can eat more in indo. =D AND I WANT TO GO HOME. home in indo i mean. phew~~i miss the ppl there. my family my couzins~~ i juz want to go home. i suddenly feel so weird down here. i feel like a stranger. i dunno why. ppl treat me well. but i juz dun feel HOME. I WANT TO GO HOME. AND EAT! muahahahaha! SIAO~!
so wad shall i do now?

almost a dead blog

2007-10-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAA~!oh my oh my~this blog is almost dead. well~have not been blogging lately coz im lazy to blog~dun feel like blogging as well. have been GE-ing like siao, though. i think my exam is gonna be the death of me this time. even though i knew i shouldnt play GE, i still played. in the end, during the exam i wasnt even sure whether my ans was correct. it was really HELL! urgghh~ i know it was wrong,yet i didint do anything to change my attitude. my my my~~~
GE IS SO DESTRUCTIVE! YET, I STILL PLAY~ why?! SIMPLY BECAUSE IM TOO WEAK TO RESIST.
NUTS~AAAAAAA~!
tmr is oral exam. and the invigilator will me ms loh. oh my god! SOBS! i just hope i wont act so stupidly tmr that i would fail my exam. CRAP! i need that confident tmr!
haiz~dunno wad else to say lei~ think stop here first. bb cya

IM STUPID!

2007-09-20T17:36:00.000+08:00

AAA~!EXAM IS COMMING!ALERT!ALERT!DANGER IS COMING!
haiz~scared~yet here i am~never study at all. CRAP! and yea i feel like blogging now, coz im very irritated. I hate myself~ dunno why. I JUST HATE MYSELF~
I AM:
possesive, irresponsible, fickle-minded, nutty, heavily addicted to games, lost in my own world, dunno wad danger is lying ahead, dumb, evil, unreasonable and a bit of paranoid~
WTH! AAA~
I HATE IT! and I HATE YOU (not to readers~this is directed to someone else)
YEA I LIKE TO SAY "I HATE YOU"! so wad~!?i know im unreasonable to say this, since i dun think it's your fault at all. AND actually i dun hate you~ I juz hate myself~ AAA!I know its complicated and i cant understand it myself. IM A BAD GAL who likes to say "I HATE YOU" without any reason. BAD RITE!? AAA!tts why i HATE myself.
I HATE YOU! and how i wish u were here, so i can say it directly on ur face~! i want to take out all my anger on you. I know its sad. But i really~~~AAA!i just want to scream at you! too bad tt u know me. too bad tt u are the victim. LOL!AAAAAA

quizzie

2007-09-15T16:09:00.000+08:00

long time nvr blog XD..haha.kk. im here just to doa quiz and i dun feel like blogging at all.

1. The person who tagged you is:
Stella~
2. Your relationship with him/her is:
Friend!^^
3. 5 impressions of him/her:
- kan chiong(juz like me~but i kan chiong last minute~)
- hard working
- shy
- unpredictable
- responsible ^^
4. The most memorable thing he/she has done for u?
mmmmmm~make me feel motivated to study????? =.= feel very competitive when im with her. hahahaha!
5. The most memorable words he/she has said to you:
"I can't stand it! We can't always do the project on our own while they all slacked, lahz~!"
this is the most memorable because i agree with her =P
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will:
Sorrie, im not a lesb~ but she is a good fwen to be around with ^^ but she wont be my lover lahz~my lover must be a guy kk! Im not a lesb~haiz~ hahaha!=P
7. If he/she becomes your lover, she/he must improve on:
DOTS~ HOW MANY TIMES I MUST TELL YOU!? SHE IS NOT MY LOVER~!mmmmm~~she must improve on~~~~~no idea lehz~its more to i must improve myself~ hahaha!
8. If he/she becomes you enemy, you will:
That is a very sad and unwanted case~~but if it is the fact~ then maybe i'll slap her? a bit violent lahz horh~ but enemy mah~but then of course she is my fwen lahz~ haiyo~
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
=.='' oh man~~maybe becoz she steals my bf? BUT OMG! she won't do that one lorh! I HAVE FAITH IN HER! but maybe if someone becomes my enemy, then that would be the possible reason lahz~but dun worry, she won't become my enemy..=P
10. The most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now:
Understand her better~? coz im so blurr mah~n always irritate her one lehz~kk~it is not to irritate her. HAHA! =P
11. Your overall impression of him/her is:
she is a good friend~
12. How do you think people around you think about you?
NOT MY BUSINESS!
13. The characteristic you love about yourself is:
-can sing
-can draw manga
-can play gamez
-can study~~~
-the third child in the family!=P (a lot of characteristics)
14. The characteristic you hate about urself is:
-can't sleep peacefully (very rarely)
15. The most ideal person you want to be is:
A hardworking, smart, pretty, yet games-addict, rich, princessy-like Japanese girl~~? *puke* OMG tts a bit too much~
16. For people that cared and like you, say something to them:
I LOVE YOU! *MUACkz* Lets get married in the future! (=_= oh noes~the last sentence, just forget bout it~)
17. People tt got tagged! so i can know you better:
- YiQing
- Yan Ting
- Jie Shin
- Kor jio
- Tiara
- Atrina =P
- Siti
- Jie ji2
- (???)
- (???)
- (???)

MEH~~~dunno who are going to be the (???)s... haiz

this futuristic picture

2007-08-24T17:33:00.000+08:00

Seen this picture before? haha. i used it for my skin once.
well, i love looking at this picture! it is so futuristic and if u enlarge it, you can see many things...i mean, u can see the small flying things and the trees and the terminals i dunno wad for. but whenever i look at this piture, ill start imagining things just like wad im doing now. I'll imagine wad ill be doing if im inside the picture, the beautiful city. Sitting at the park with the "potted-trees" around instead of the "real" trees growing out of the earth. Or maybe i'll be sitting inside the gigantic terminal, waiting for a "flying train" to take me home. LOL. It's so fun. But really, i love this picture. And it reminds me of SOTET,too. I really want to play it again, but the CD1 is spoiled. Sobs....so must buy a new one again. haha.

and this is~~~well..obviously it is Kira from deathnote. Who doesnt know him. Well i dunno wad is this wallpaper made of. I mean, it looks like painting. But the apple looks very real. LOL. and it kinda looks cool to me. mehehehe.

and this is kino from kino no tabi! she is so cool and cute at teh same time. i have the whole episode of the anime. but so far i had only watched three epi. LOL! haiz.

guess tts all for this post. it is just a post of pictures i guess. im in no mood to say wad has been happening lately. so yea~~bb cya!

influential song

2007-08-21T19:15:00.000+08:00

everytime i listen to this song, i will feel like crying. I dunno why but it always happens. This sad song always influence my mind. Are girls destined to be this emo~?or is it only me? It's torturing and painful. What's wrong with ME!?!?

enough downs this weekend..It's only tuesday, yet i feel so demoralised already. On mon, com test, i felt so hopeless. I didnt study on sunday and yet i didnt feel so nervous and scared until the time came. When i looked at those qs, numbers, my head started to spin and i know i won't do well for it. I felt like crying as i rushed through the paper. But wad is the use of crying? It's my worst mistake and i can swear this is the worst maths test i ever sat for. usually, even if i dun study, i would at least flip through my notebook to refresh my memory. But this sunday, i didn't even look at all. During the test, i felt so guilty and tt im such a joker. Is GE that harmful? I dun think it is the game's fault. It's totally my fault for being off-guard. I'm not responsible enough. It is always like this. At the beginning of semesters, ill do very well. When it comes to the end, my results are like SHIT! I HATE THIS!

And yes~~THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO HATE THOSE PPL! they are not there when i need them, but they are arnd when i dun want their presence. Now i need them coz i need to vomit out all this. But will they understand? and even YOU! can you understand? of course you can't~ you won't understand wad im talking abt anywae~ FINE, dun talk bout this anymore. It really wrenches my heart.. haiz.. im so EMO~~~~

haiz....dun want to talk anymore since it will only make u even more confuse. haiz. stop here yea~ bb cya..shall start doing IPW now

i HATE YOU!

2007-08-17T20:39:00.000+08:00

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL THIS MISERABLE!I HATE YOU! YOU MAKE ME WONDER WHETHER YOU ARE REAL OR ARE YOU JUST MY FANTASY!? I HATE YOU!

Q. who is the "you"?
A. The "you" is made up of many people. And they are not my classmates nor my couz.

And now im telling all of you my weakness. I HATE FRIDAY NIGHT AND THE WEEKENDS. WHY!? i should be enjoying my friday and my weekends, but these people make me feel so miserable that i feel like crying all night. And this emo feeling only comes every friday and on weekends. And yea~I hate this emo feelings. It's just not rite. It feels weird. Yet here it is.

I'm typing this , and im on the verge of falling asleep. I'm in a daze, and maybe it is because of this emo feelings. it is out of place somehow, but still it makes me feel miserable. I hate this. And I HATE THEM! it feels as if i have been making empty wishes. Wishes that never come true. Wishes that at the end of the day, go to the dustbin. Wishes that in the end do not bring happiness but sadness.

RIGHT! I'm warning you, now! This post is gonna be soooooo emo...so dun say i never warn u. If u can't take it or think im just trying to waste time talking nonsense, then get out of my blog. I also dun want u to become emo and nutty like me, anywae.

Sometimes, i wonder whether it's just my imagination or is it that i have put too much hope on it. I wonder whether they know i exist. i wonder whether they really see me as what i really am. i wonder whether they even bother about me?! I wonder whether it is me who is too sensitive.

This emo feelings, have done a lot of damage on me todae. when i was playing GE, I didnt know where to go. I dunno where to park to lvl up. When i was playing Sims2, i was fed up coz it was so laggy. I was so impatient. When i turned on my MSN, I feel even more miserable, becoz the person i want to confide with was not there. She may not even understand wad im talking about larhz~ And i went to blogger a few times, but i always logged out again, coz i didnt know wad to do. Then i rest a while and realized i really need to do this. I dun care anymore about privacy. I just want to let this out. I just want to vomit it out.

I hate this emo feeling so much~!

fine~~a little entertainment now. Kok Wai asked me to do this quiz thing.
Each player starts off by naming ten weird habits or facts about one's self. At the end, tag six friends and they'll have to do the same too. No tagging back.

1) I like to scratch my head whenever i can't do sth properly.
2) There is a mark '3' on my right hand. Guess it is a birth mark or sth.
3) I like to sleep with very small bolster to hug.
4) I like daydream a lot ^^, but surprisingly can concentrate on lessons, except during rainy days.
5) I like to put too much hope on some things.
6) I can't do hw if i dun have the mood.
7) I can be addicted to sth easily, but forget bout it easily too.
8) I always got headache...at least once a week. (dunno why..dun u think it's weird?)
9) I always take things too seriously that ppl always tease me abt it.
10) I'm lame even though i dun look like it...i wont be lame in front of singaporeans or whoever i dunno well. but i will be lame to those close to me~!=D

People who are supposed to this quiz also:
Stella
Jie Shin
Tiara
Jie Ci2
Kor Jio
Phoebe

hehe..guess tts all. i feel better after doing the quiz. but it won't be long until i feel miserable again. haha. bb.cya!

new choir conductor

2007-08-15T18:13:00.000+08:00

hi ppl! well~it's my fault that i never went to see mr low off and it is no one's fault that i kinda feel guilty for not seeing him for the last time. Yet, i was scared of seeing him off. I dunno~ i just hate shedding tears. I hate to part with ppl who have taught me a lot of things. I have parted with so many ppl in my life, and it feels bitter. That's why i never went and never wanted to...
well, ytd mr kwei and mr fong who is our new conductor came. nelson kwei talked bout the trip to europe that would be held next year, and i was so excited bout it. I wonder whether i was grinning throughout his speech =.= that must be embarrassing. hehe. aynwae, he is ambitious as usual and i wonder whether tts a good thing or a bad thing. khekhe. and we learnt a new song, Luk Luk Lumbu. It's a song from Banyuwangi O.O.....somewhere in Java (or is it in Bali?) in Indonesia.well my geography is quite bad so im not sure where it is. but it is popular. The song itself talks about the fragrance in Banyuwangi. I have never been there before though so i dunno whether it really smells good there or wadsoever. HAHA! and mr fong's voice is like so high lahz. i couldnt sing properly after i heard his high-pitched voice. i was nervous coz it would be embarrassing if i coulnt reach the high notes he could sing. man~~he is awesome. LOL! im sure choir will get along with him well soon. haha. but seriously, i miss mr low~
and yea~ now~ every friday there will be no CCA! im HAPPY! yet im also scared. I dunno~ it just feels as if the choir now slacks like siao. and im scared that our standard will fall further somehow. but i must have faith in mr kwei and mr fong. and we can't take them for granted, for everything is in our hands and we cant depend on them for everything. everything depends on us, our attitude and our will. we must work for it ourselves as they are there just to GUIDE us and nothing more... well~i think im suddenly so emo her O_O
LOL!fine..think end here first bha~ todae got nothing much..lesson like usual. and anywae the CDP skit was postponed to next week. =( i hope for the best!HEHE! bb cya!^^

mon slackz

2007-08-13T16:48:00.000+08:00

WEEEE~~!todae can slack again. hahahaha~ well i have done the IPW research already. Now im blogging~~
My mind: DHE!Isn't it obvious!?
Me: Shut Up! I just want to lengthen my post a bit, can!? Anywae, i'm also wasting my time for mentioning u here~~bleahz
My mind: sob~shanny so bad~~
Me: Whatever!! I'm bad, so what!?
My mind: T.T

ooo~~this is the best time to slack. haiz. shall i tell u about my day todae?
well went to schl as usual. during morning assembly, someone squezzed a centipede or wadever it is called. ewwww~ HAHAHA! then lessons as usual. Mr Faizal didnt come todae. And...history is like that lorh~got to choose the topic for our project. Then, com test~ i dunno lahz. somehow i got a feeling that i wont do well this time. Haiz. scared. i dunno wad is choir in malay. man~~yet i chose that topic. how dumb am i~ tsktsk
then yea~we had to stay back for maths and cleaned up class. but somehow i didnt clean the class at all. haha. oh yea~just now mdm aisha's class got to make cookies, and they tasted so nice! i can't wait for next week. I know making cookies involve eggs..ewwww. i dun want to get involved in anything to do wif eggs. but~it tasted so nice~~i want to make one also. haiz~
mmmmmm~wad else to say~~~? well last nite i just broke a secret to my couz. I feel dumb even until now. I know she is trustworthy, but~ still. i dun feel dumb becoz i have let out a secret, but because the secret is dumb. haha fine~~
dunno wad else to write. just stop here for todae i guess. bb. cya! muacks

My new skin..again

2007-08-12T13:22:00.000+08:00

HEY!this is my new skin..Kingdom hearts again. well, i love kingdom hearts a lot a lot a lot!!!! I LOVE KINGSOM HEARTS! WEEEEEE!!!! and well yea, i know the wallpaper is a bit....too bright? too girlish? i think so too. but,cant help it. Im too mesmerised by my own made wallpaper that i dun care wad it becomes now. LOL! who cares~~yea rite~wadever.
i hope u like my new skin yea~ hahaha. nothing to say.well maybe i shall talk about ytd a bit
Yesterday, went East Coast with Faction (only three ppl who came though) and sis' fwens and of course she herself. I dunno~ i mean i think this is the first time i really went out with ppl i hardly know. I dunno~im just tired of hiding, im tired of myself, im tired being home all the time. But yet i know Singapore outside my home is borring. But still, i went out. I want sth different? I dunno.
and ytd i started to learn to ride bike again. It has been 5 years~oh gosh. 5 years of not cycling. And frankly i had difficulty to learn again. haiz. I was so scared of falling.
But eventually i fell. =P becoz of that stupid man who tried to cut. GRRRR~! and yea, my sis' friend was luckily behind me so he could help. My sis wasnt arnd when i fell down. I didnt even dare to look at the wound until i came home. amazingly, i really couldnt be bothered to look at it. of course it hurt for sometime. but it was alrite. when i reached home last nite, it was surprisingly very painful. i was like jumping up and down to stop the pain. LOL! and my back, this morning started to hurt. Ugh! pain. it feels as if i have broken my bones or sth. LOL!
well think tts all i wanna say for now. nothing much huh. dun really feel like blogging. only felt like changing skin only.

dilemma

2007-08-09T13:17:00.000+08:00

hi. HAHAHA! im stuck here in blog again. Well, i dunno wad to do since that stupid internet can't afford GE todae. GE is damn laggy todae lahz, and i think there is a hacker out there who always hack my GE. Damn you!LOL! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
and im still confused and thinking whther i should go tmr or not. dun feel like going since i would have to go to and from home alone. Changi is so far anywae~
but then if i dun go, then.....i would have to wait long long then can see my conductor again. Haiz~~
And im missing someone very badly by now. I knoe it's dumb to miss him since he may not even bother bout me~ but~can't he just go online at least? well im selfish, so wad?he is so damn far away lahz... and here i am sitting in front of comp,dumbly looking at the screen and msn just to know that he is offline. oh man~~ fine~ he is DUMB!
My mind: O-O shanny you are dangerous...you like to blame other ppl a lot
Me: who cares! I also blame you for making me miss him. bleeeeee~!
My mind: SOBX! shanny bad gal!
Me: Whatever!
WHAT SHALL I DO NOW!? do homework?! no way man! that maths study group wksht is also dumb lahz! i dunno whether the wksht is dumb or me is dumb, but frankly i can't do the 2nd qs. The scale doesnt make sense. and using the curve ruler is very hard~ i cant draw really well. boooooo~! and msn~again, like wad i tell you, tt person is not online and my couz is also not online. I can only chat with yiqing and my 2/5 friends who are always online. wadever im talking, yea, i know you wont understand wad im talking but im really damn frustrated!kay fine, nothing wrong with chatting with them, i love chatting with them. BUT~ oh man~ wadever! i just want tt person and my couz to go online! AAAAAAA!
Sims2? no~ after my fav chars went error, im fed up. I dun have inspiration to play anymore. My fav char is gone!GONE! SOBS!with my fav house as well. T.T
watch anime? too lazy to sit down and look at the comp without doing anything.
play skipping rope? well, yea, i have been skipping rope-ing since im so fat and i give in to my mom. I can't take it anymore, so might just as well start exrcising. horrible. playing skipping rope is btter than runngin arnd the schl anywae. boo! and i want to go cycling! but its impossible to go todae, coz sis is away~ until nite. crap! i want to go cycling!!!!! i foget how to cycle already, but i want to learn again. cycling is better than swimming. khekhekhekhe.
fine, i think i have written a lot to say out my frustration. i gtg. but in fact i dunno wat to do still. bleahz. bb!cya!

Heart-wrenching

2007-08-08T13:04:00.000+08:00

kk. Long time never blogged. I got a lot of projects to do these days. But tts not the actual reason for not blogging. It is bacoz im very veryyyyyyyyyyyy lazy to blog~~ My feelings and thoughts are all jumbled up, tts why when i wanted to blog, i have forgotten wad i wanted to say. BOOO~! LOL. Firstly, i wanna talk about todae's NDP. Well, although i have gone for NDP last year and this is already the 2nd time, im still not used to it. I mean, i dun really like to do or be involved in sth like this. I'm not even a Singaporean. And frankly, even in Indonesia I never celebrated NDP before. When there was NDP in Indonesia, I would just stay at home and thought,"NDP or no NDP will still be the same. And why should i celerate this NDP thing anywae~~ Who cares."
but, todae when i was standing there, i was not thinking bout NDP. I was thinking bout our last choir performance with Mr Low. U realize tt in the last posts, i also said things bout last performances with Mr Low. But actually todae was the real one. And it is very sad lahz~ I was holding back my tears when we were singing "If". I was holding Doreen's hand to hold it back. I have been squeezing her hand so that i can concentrate on the performance and not make my voice muffled. But, i was so busy with holding back my tears obviously~ I couldnt even be bothered to sing properly. So~~~I really dun know how we sounded like. And i started to cheer up when we sang "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". It is a happy song and im supposed to smile. And the song is fun anywae. So, in the end, i started to smile naturally. And the pose at the end was~~i dunno~i hope it was okay. HAHA! When we came to the end of the whole event, Mr low brifed us for the last time. He said sth like thank you for letting me perform with you for the last time before i leave, or sth like tt. Then i couldnt hold back my tears anymore. I cried but it didnt last long coz i realized that my mascarra was~~ making my face black~ SOB SOB! LOL. Then we took pict together but i bet i couldnt be seen clearly in the photo anywae. Ye know, Im short! GRRRRR~! Now, i dunno whether i shall go to Changi on fri to say farewell~ Changi is far~ and even if i want to go, i dun want to go on my own. I want to go with sb else. I mean i dun want to go from home, go there alone~ It's like so~~~~~~~~DIAO~HAHA!

And yea i have been thinking abt some things lately. Some of the questions i have been asking in my mind are DIAO~ But, i think ill just list it down here:
Why is my nose so ugly?
Why am i so forgetful?
Why teachers give us so many projects?
Why do i like to eat a lot?becoz the food is nice?becoz of this, i can't lose weight at all.
Why do i sprain my legs most of the time?
Why i always have a headache?even now.
Why am i addicted to game but then get bored of it so quickly?
Why is the degree of my eyes keep on increasing?
Why do chocolates taste so good?
Why do i like apples so much?
Why I don't like to do exercise?
Why am I addicted whenever I do maths?O_O"
Why are my legs so fat and inproportionate against my whole body?
Why do i like anime so much?
How could i do study so much when i was in indonesia?becoz i never knew bout comp?becoz nothing better to do than study?even television is not good? indeed "yes" to all the suggestions~
why i can't talk properly with strangers?with sb i dun know before?
Why i prefer to be home?
Why bus 51 always comes very late?

fine~~so far there are the qs i can think of or remember at the moment. There are still a lot of them~hahaha~ I think i'll end it here~ HAHA!see ya! MUACKZ!

so dissappointing

2007-07-19T17:38:00.000+08:00

man~~i feel so~ discouraged. Im so SAD! AAAA~~nvm. firget it.
fine~im here again to blog~ after schl played GE for a while then felt sianz. I dunno why lahz. i dun think becoz GE sux. It's just~ im in no mood. And im trying to write Charrissa's compo but still~ my brain stucks. I dunno wad im gonna do~ now im just singing while blogging. oh yea~ just now i also played Sims2 for a while~ i created a female character and i think she is very pretty. I think she is the prettiest among all the girls i have created. WEEE~ so happy. hahahaha~ and by the way, since im talking abt this, im reminded abt sth.
Since long time ago, i have been wanting to be an architect. I love seeing miniature houses and the drawings of houses. I alwaes dream to be an architect. When my couz, who also aspires to be an architect, asked me whether im serious to be one, i even answered "yes" proudly. But~~~that dream is shattered into pieces when my parents found out that to be architect, i must study in uni at least for 7 years. (if im nt wrong, tts it). I know it's a very long time. But i still like it~~ but~ u know the answer. They dun agree and said i must change my aspiration. =.= wadever~ i dun wanna argue~ i alwaes want to be an architect and now they are telling me to take another course when i go to uni. i dun want to be like other ppl who take any course in the uni just for the sake of it. It's unpleasant at all.
fine lets talk abt others things.
okai~our new class-chairman is Noelle! yay! congratz Noelle! and yea~ at least i dun need to see Mrs Terrance whenever she asks the class chairman to see her. im not the chairman, but~ i must help Mith rite~ i can't ask him to do everything for the class while he also got a lot of things to do as a councillor.
then~~~~~~~ todae and yest was like raining? and in the class it felt so cozy. I felt like sleeping all the time but forced myself not to. But in the end during English, since Mrs tham was absent, i almost fell asleep. Haiz. It was so cold also. HAHAHA!a good time to sleep really.
And science lesson, as usual he brought so many weird things to the class. not weird things but materials for experiment i mean. And he did experiments outside lab. LOL. Proffesional already mahz. LOL!
AND YEA!!!!! I keep on forgetting to do things. I mean~ last night i forgot to pack the sci com test 2 into my bag and i forgot to ask my mom to sign the wadever "form" on the streaming thing. Sigh. luckily mrs loh didnt come and mr koh didnt seem to remember at all. LOLOLOL. Lucky~~ but its just merely luck.
and abt the streaming thing~ its so fast~T.T im scared. my english very bad and i dunno which class to go into. 3/5 too stressful, but other classes~ i dunno~ haiz. aaaaaa~ so scared
fine stop here. bb. cya. dun feel like blogging anymore for now

garghhh~

2007-07-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

well i also dunno why i ended up here. in my own blog. okays~~ so first thing first~ wad do u think of this new skin? does it look like dandruff? LOL. i guess it is. but too lazy to change it again. haiz.
todae was IPW. it becomes one of subjects i hate most just becoz of one person. Haiz. its irritating smtms. haiz. and todae~ did that water filter thing. and~aaaa~~ dunno lahz. dun care. wadever. dun wanna talk abt it
and i hate Ms TAY! "okay class get into your groups and discuss (blablablablabla)"
wahlau...very sian ye know. AAARGHHHH!
and todae mr low came!!yippe! and it was much better! in just one practice everything feel correctly. but it doesnt mean i dun appreciate Hannah. i dunno why. i just feel so~~ not sian not bored~ just no energy to sing becoz mr low wasnt there~ but~ i dunno lahz~ aaaaa.. todae im so fickle minded. fine. guess i will just ed it here. dun want to talk anymore. so confusing. bye! cya!

lalalalalalalal muahahahha

2007-07-13T20:52:00.000+08:00

guess im so high todae..can't stop laughing and im such in a very good mood. aaaa. thats why im blogging rite now. oh my blog my love. u have been sharing all my happiness and sorrow all this time. I LOVE YOU BLOG! LOL.(WTH am i talking O.O making a fool out of myself in the public or sth?) but i really love u blog! muachz! but i know i have been so evil to u coz i have been leaving you for i dunno how many weeks. sigh. sorrie~LOL. (why am i talking to a non-living thing like this? simple~ the answer is that becoz im so nutty todae) fine~
aaa i have been talking nonsense. todae had drama and it is not as bad as i have thought. last year i hated it so much becoz i had to act in front of the whole class which i didn't really know back then. But now~i feel confident. well i still feel embarrassed sometimes. But it is better. even though i feel as if they are laughing at me when im acting or reading aloud, i will just ignore it or laugh along with them. they dont mean bad anywae. we just want to have FUN!
and history, somehow todae i couldnt really catch up with her lesson. and i couldnt be bothered to ask her to slow down. too lazy to "air my armpit" as wad Mrs loh called it. LOL. and i started to hate the way she teaches us. sobs. aaaaaa~
PE and TAF run~well yea i bet some of u still dunno bout this but im in TAF club...sobs. TAF! im fat! man~ yea some ppl say they dun believe im in TAF coz i "dun look fat at all" but! dun bluff me! i know im fat! well alrite i dun look fat at one glance but when u look at my legs~ huaaaaaaa~~~! i feel like chopping them into pieces. AAAA~(well im a bit nutty so im a bit violent todae) so sad~ and yea PE was like~i dun like the lady~ i like P Lim more. She spoke so softly lahz~ grrrrrrr. but if i were her, maybe i would do the same thing anyway. haha. and we lernt to play frisbee from the basic once again. oooohhh man~ it was so borring. TAF run was like chiong-ing. LOL. ran 1st round non stop. but in the end i paused also dhe.
and yea~~~i kinda miss Tiara~ she has not been online. oh my dear couz. where are u?can't u just go online and chat with me? u always share with me but i never share with u. i dunno why. maybe i dun trust u, and i feel guilty for that.
and about choir~ I LOVE IT! todae was like~ so GRAND! my voice was suddenly~im not showing off~ but it has returned! it was as if i have just awoke from a dream. i have received my voice back. i received that power back. and i really wished it will always be like this. haha.and i feel like singing all the way~
and i just received some bad news now! at this moment.man~ why i asked it in the first place? why can't i be happy all the time? why is life like this? and now im like this all over again. why why why~~~!! GRAAAAAAGHH!!!
and~ seee i forget wad i want to post already! fine! end here first! aaaaa~~~T.T ooo my blog my love, i dun want to leave u but i must. must do my hw first okai. bb. cya everyone! ^^

neeeeeee~~

2007-07-12T19:44:00.000+08:00

jeez~i dunno why im here. i dun feel like updating actually. maybe becoz i have been playing GE too much and forget everything abt blogging. man~~GE is "BAD". yet still i admit that i like it a loootttt~~~ weeeeee..... but of course i got do my hw. and charissa gave me a lot of hw. sigh. T.T
neeeee~~~~i want to talk about the Be Yourself Day in the school. It was even better than last years'. AAAAAAAAAA~ I envy that guy, who wore a grim reaper's costume. He's so cool. but i couldnt see his face anywae. O.O dumb. haizzzz. i wonder whether he was wearing a wig or wad coz his hair was so long.LOL. and yea~ there were a lot of others too, who wore costumes like him. BUT not exactly grim reaper. i mean they wore weird2 stuff. LOL~ but i like it. since last year, i actually wanted to participate. I wanted to wear weird2 stuff or cosplays too~ but i couldnt be bothered anymore. It's very "mafan". must make this make that or rent this rent that. even though they will be giving out money for the winners, it's still very~~ complicated. AAA. wadever.
and~~i dunno wad else to say.

IPW:
we are supposed to make a water filter using sands, socks, cottons, etc
i remember i saw it on my primary 4 textbook in indonesia~ but of course i can't remember it. It was a looooooong time ago. haiz. trying to find infos bout it on internet.
Lit:
teachers will be giving us tests. very difficult tests according to miss wong. haha.
Maths:
going alrite so far. the coordinate thing very interesting. of course i learnt it before but i still learnt much more from her. LOL.
Science:
Mr Koh RAWKS! I like him even though smtms his lessons are borring. but he is so cute. LOL hehe. science practical lessons with him are also interesting. but i mean the experiments are interesting. and yiqing and me even asked him about Mentos and Cola mixed together. what will happen if mix them? we planned to try it together later. hahaha. interesting~~~ and he gave sth cute!!! sth like~errr i dunno lah! it's made up of rubber orange color. haha. he gave me tt coz i got the highest for the chemical test. LOL (mind you, im not showing off)
English:
as usual Mrs Tham rawks!!!
HomEc:
It's not as bad as i have thought. we cook salad the other day. of course i dun dare to eat it. everything that i cook will taste horrible anywae. =P

shall tell u bout yesterday. on the same bus as kh, nick, zhi yuan and wei nian. met a junior in the bus too. and they are all guys. so they crowded arnd me like bodyguards. muahahahaha. LOL. but sb embarrassed me so much that i lost my face in the public. AAAAAA. can't he just stop being so childish. can't he just stop swinging around, jumping around?in the public u know!? he did that?! and when he wasnt happy with wad kh said(i forget wad it was) he kicked him almost on the face. and an Amma looked at him and shook her head. oh man~~~~really~ he is a troublemaker~ and she looked at us too, at ME! owww man~~!! i feel like hiding behind my bag. sob. and can't 'some people' sit properly? they all behaved like monkeys. sobs~~~~

about choir, im very upset. partly becoz of my irresponsible self and others becoz of the choir's descipline that has dropped like~~ i dunno~~! it's like HELL! i dun want to see her cry becoz of us~ i know how it feels like and i want to make her smile~ but i just cant~ i always upset her~ oooo!! why why why!!!!! i always get the wrong timming and smtms sing out of tunes. my voice sux too! it's so airy not supported at all. smtms i wonder, do i really loss hope that fast? am i giving up? i still have one more SYF to participate in. i want to do my best and bring our choir to that gold with honour. but can i make it? smtms i agree that i lose my hope i give up tt fast...

and yea~ i wonder wads in my brain smtms. i can feel happy at one point, feel like crying at another ponit or smashing things at the other point. man~ mood swing? dun think so~ and i have nt been sleeping well lately. black rings are forming under my eyes. weekend~ i need weekend. but still~ i guess ill be playing GE the whole weekend instead of resting. sobs.

fine i think ive talked soooooooo much. a lot. and this post is very messy. sorrie sorrie. but hope u will read it though. okai. bye2~ ill post again sooner or later. ^^

7 july 2007

2007-07-07T17:55:00.000+08:00

cool~~~7/7/07..haha..LiveEarth show from 7am to 7pm?if im nt wrong, yes it is..well i just started watching it through MSN and my hw from charissa is still sitting in front of me waiting to be finished as soon as possible..LOl..well simple the "thing" is very fun..they produced so many funny videos and they are connected to our attitudes to the envi...LOL...it's very shocking..well watch it if u are free, TODAY! LOL...it's so FUN~~and i didnt expect to see abingdon school boys? i think so~~ yea they are the ones who sing for dgray-man first opening~~they were singing lahz~~its really the whole singers all around the world lohz...and they sang the songs which i knew very well..HOWLING and INNOCENT...wooowwwwoooowwww~~~!!!okai~~fine..i know ihave nt been updating much...later lahz horh...haha...need to do homework...bb..cya!

weeeee

2007-06-28T18:23:00.000+08:00

man~~im a BAD GAL..never updated my blog properly. July is coming already!!! and anywae i havent made jie cici's skin...im sorrie!!
i guess it is just another disease of mine. When i feel like blogging, i will update like siao. But if im not, I'll just leave my blog there for 2 months without any updates. BOOOO!and i have not been visiting ppl's blogs. And i tell u what i have been doing every night this week. I HAVE BEEN PLAYING GE! For godness sake! school had started yet i still play. Sob. But icant bring myself to stop. im addicted! REALLY ADDICTED! BLEAH! and i dun feel like chatting online as well since not many ppl online. and seriously i miss some ppl SO MUCH!! and it is partly my fault to cause one of them not online. SOB SOB. SORRY!
well..yea this monday schl started. I came at abt 11 coz i got to be immunized(is this how to spell it?) in the Health Board wad thing. haha. the building in Outram there. LOL. forget it. And yea i came in a hurry cos i didnt want to be late for Com test. And i feel so dumb coz THERE WAS NO COM TEST. BLEAH! I thought there would be one even though it was only the first of schl. sob sob. I feel cheated. Yet i know im dumb. LOL. haha.
Well i dun really wanna talk abt schools on mon to todae. coz think i only need to reacord some things that r important. HAHA. well sci teacher changed already. It is Mr Koh! I though he was fierce, but he is not!!! I like his way of teachings!!! WEEE!he is funny! hahaha and yesterday he brought sparkler, dry ice and bunsen burner to the class! O.OI thought that i would find them only in lab? LOL! but anywae it was FUN! and Lit teacher~~~she looked fierce. HER FACE! very stern firm and not even a smile there. BRRRRR... But then she was quite okay...but but.....so UNFAIR! todae just becoz hong jie and they all talking nonsense we were asked to stay back for remedial. SOB. well it wasnt todae. i dunno when. HAHA.
And Mrs Tham is still gonna teach us!!!!weeeeee~~love her a lot!! i dun want to lose such a good teacher..hahaha! and yesterday mrs loh rearranged our seats. now im sitting with yanting. and mrs loh asked me to tell her if anyone in the class are really against the new arangement. Or if it doesnt do any good to some ppl. hahaha.
and i also feel that im getting worse. I mean my attitude. to everyone. im too hot tempered and kepo these days. feeling like slapping myself. i have been rude to ppl arnd me and im putting burdens on them. SOB SOB. im sorry. but seriously i dunno why i become like this and how to change it back again. sob sob...
hmmmm dunno wad else to talk. I think i would now talk abt the korean band called F.T Island. i admire them a lot sia!!! they are cute handsome and u know how old they are? 14 years old!! 4 boys with very good voice!! Woohooo! jealous! im so jealous!i am listening to their songs right now. LOL!
tmr got choir and i hope i will get to see Mr Low! i miss him greatly since i didnt go for his farewell party. thought he went off already. But he was going end of this july. booo... hope he wil come tmr. >< an i keep forgetting to pay for the cow soft toy. sob sob. hope will remember to giv it tmr to eunice. sad~why am i so forgetul!
and anywae. i just remember. on mon night i forgot to ask my sis to write letter telling i have been absent lately during choir practices. so i woke her up in the morning on tues. last minute written letter. and my mom was like sign the paper hurriedly since dun want me to be late. LOL! sorry yach. haha. and i have nt been sleeping well mind you. haha. dunno why... sob
think i talk a lot already? haha. think its enough. my hand tired. still need to do the explanatory compo for mrs tham. haha. hope she wont faint when reading mine. LOL. bb.. cya!muachhs

LOL!in indo posting

2007-06-16T20:36:00.000+08:00

muahahahaha. Im here in indonesia. LOL. Got internet! Yippeee! But i rarely go online. Only sometimes. And I cant really leave them alone cant i? although i have been very cold to them these days. I dunno but suddenly i dun feel easy arnd them. sigh. I got homework to do and i reason that i nd to do them before i play with them. But actually im too addicted to "Angels and Demons" that i rarely do my homework. Sigh. And again everytime i sleep, before i sleep and before i wake up, i tell myself im gonna do this hw this hw this hw. Yet yesterday i failed to complete them. But todae~!I did it!at least i completed wad i planned to do. But then again i feel guilty coz i seldom play with them. I let them wonder in my room while i do my hw. At least i try to do them. But yea~~cant concentrate. Bah! And tmr plan to go Vihara with them. I wanted to go with chen2 and karuna but they dunno im here yet. oooooohhhhh~~~i still havent told them that im here! MY GOD! i dunno but i just feel lazy to call them. I prefer to sit on my bed and do everything there just like wad im doing now. LOL. And im plainly waiting for tiara's arrival. BOOOOOOO!!! so late loh! Tuesday!!! BOOO!!!!so need to finish my homework asap before i got hooked on chatting with them. BOOOO!!and actually i finished the book already in three days. LOL. scary rite? three days finish 600 over pages. BUt think its nothing compared to yt's nick's and dy's speeds. LOL. Still i feel proud. muahahaha. okai then i think i end here. think this post is very borring and plain. booooooo~~~~~~mooooooo~~and i miss my GE too!! fine ignore me. okai. bye bye. cya!!

short break

2007-06-13T20:24:00.000+08:00

played GE again. And finally i decided what i wanna write for "Courage To Be Different". I will write Ridley's story. It is decided. Finally~~ And tomorrow will be going back bjm. hehe. I dunno whether im happy or worried. maybe a mix of the two. I'm afraid of the flight. Not becoz i have a phobia, but~ it just makes me worried. I hope u know wad i mean. HAHA. but of course u won't. but then, im happy. coz im gonna meet "them". I miss them a lot. hahaha. And finally i can find some peace and do my hw without any distraction. at least no GE. hahaha.
anywae, todae mom made me the terubozu(s)!!!!Mami brouhgt the materials last time and only todae we started making it. Well actually is is my mom who made it nt me. I only drew the face. LOL. she made three terubozu(s). and it's quite tough even though it looks simple. LOL. SO happy!
This afternoon went to sis' graduation at ngee ann. hahaha. nothing much. just watched ppl receiveing their diplomas. LOL.
well prepared my bag for tmr already. haha. wish me bon voyage yach. i dunno whether i will be able to blog later. haha. or maybe i would keep a journal or diary like just wad yiqing is doing.hahaha. maybe i shall do that. khekhe. i think tts all i wanna say. rather short ah this post. who cares. at least i post sth.

nightmare

2007-06-12T18:29:00.000+08:00

i know im so irresponsible and inconsiderate even to myself. Sigh. I still have a lot of homework to be done. I know I have been slacking and playing GE too much. Yet i can bring myself to stop. Even if my parents scold me whole day, i still can't stop playing. And the thing i will do is angry with them. Of course i cant talk back to them, but inside my heart i curse like siao. What a bad girl i am. Everytime i wanna sleep, i always remind myself that the next day i will study and do hw. I wont play games, GE or anything else. But, in the end, i played. I forget all my homework. And again when the night comes, i will be worried. I trust everything will go wrong someday. Sigh. Why am i such a bad girl.
Today, had tuition with charissa. Im happy that my compositions i wrote for her were okay. I hope it wasnt becoz she was in good mood then she said mine is good. AHHAAHAHA. I dunno whether its me who is getting more and more paranoid or wad. But wadever it is, i know it's nt a good sign. LOL. well actually nothing much to say since i have been playing GE the whole day. And now my characters are level 23. Still very low an dmade little progress. Who cares. The whole point is I'm too addicted to it. okai then. BYE2..CYA. Im going off to indo soon!!!

I miss you ppl out there!

2007-06-09T19:26:00.000+08:00

oh well. have been a long time since the last time i blogged. I'm sorry esp to those friends out there who have been visiting my blog very often. LOL. Sorrie. The fact is i had nt been feeling like blogging these past few days. And suddenly now i felt an urge to blog and share my feelings and thought to all of u. Sigh. And i also have to catch up reading all my friends' blogs to keep myself updated. And now i dunno where to start since i want to talk abt many many MANY THINGS!!!sigh. I think this post will be long. HAHA. Who cares. I have nt been blogging for such a looooong time. Then lets start now.
Well actually i felt that there is sth wrong with me. I have been playing Granado Espada a LOT! LOL. I'M ADDICTED TO IT!! Man~~~ My characters are so far level 19. Good enough, eh! But still I dun stand a chance against those lvl 13 monsters at al quelt moreza as they always attack me in great numbers. SO SAD. Haiz.
And todae, i think i read too much. Sigh. Now i feel like throwing up and dun feel like playing AT ALL. That's why im blogging. Coz its the only thing tt keep me occupied. HAHA. And i still dun feel like doing homework. Even though i know only two weeks left. yes, im slacking when im awake. but when i go to bad, i can't sleep at all and can't stop thinking abt those homeworks. OH, this is just sooooo WEIRD! ARGH. Why should be haunted by those homeworks!? why dun i just start doing THEM? sob sob. OMG. Someone save me from this nightmare, please. And it has been a long time as well since the last time i watch anime. ARGHH!!! stop thinking abt ANIME, GAMES, and WHATEVER ELSE! just DO your HW! SOB SOB SOB.
i also realized that im going to indo soon. 14 june. And be prepared to isolate myself studying. SOB SOB. this afternoon had tuition wif charissa.
Oh ****, my sis came home and started talking abt GE. ARGHH. dun play dun play. finish ur blogging firt kk. haha. anywae i want to talk abt the 31 may's performance for the parents.

31 may
It was Mr Low's last performance with us. I was very emo. but still i dunno whether we impressed Mr Low enough. I dun know whether he liked it. he told us that we should let our feelings move with the songs as we sang on stage. But i dun think i was trying good enough. After the whole performance, i came back to the Music Room late as i walked the wrong way. (only one staircase was open leading to the music room coz it was 9pm) and i didnt have the chance to listen to his debrief before dismissal. But i met him on the way though. I said bye2 and he replied, "Bye2. Have a nice holiday!" even though he said that with a smile, i was still nt sure whether out performance was good or not. I asked my senior's views and they said it was nt bad. Yet i was nt very relieved. went home with Mom and Mami(supposed to be aunt, but im very closed to her). My legs were very painful as the court shoes almost cut into my flesh. Dunno how to describe it and i expect u to misundertand wad i have just said. LOL. "CUT INTO MY FLESH".

2 June
went to SimLim and again i was so moody. Im sure i irritated my sis and cousins. sigh. i dunno why but i was so moody that day and i was sooo sensitive over small matters. Went to the IT fair at suntec as well. I was still moody and kor aan asked my sis why. he asked was it becoz i hate crowded place, and of course i hate crowded place. But its nt the cause of my moodiness. And u know wad~i felt guilty coz he appologized. Man~~i felt so bad. He appologized for nothing. It wasnt his fault. But i was really very very very moody that i could nt bring myself to speak or to explain to him abt it. Bleah~~im a BAD girl. sob sob. I tried to be more cheerful but failed. Not until i was approched by a lady promoting GE! MAN~~i was soo lucky. We were struggling through the crowd then suddenly we arrived at GE booth. LOL. MUAHAHAHA. so might just as well get the free installation CD. LOL. IM SO LUCKY. and after that i smiled and laughed the whole day.
after that Andy dropped us to Vivo city as we planned to watch the Songs of the Sea at sentosa that night. But it was already a full house. Sob. but at least i ate the delicious food at Food Republic there. and u know wad~ we watched POC instead..LOL

3 June
played GE and watched kor aan playing it. It was FUN. and in the afternoon went to sentosa. Climbed up and down the steps to the Merlion. Nt going inside there but just outside it. And i had to hear that grumbling sound of the water the rest of the day. Sigh. Im just so scared of them. I dunno why. and we watched the songs of the sea. It was AWESOME!!haha. then went arnd to find out how to go to the mainisland by foot. NUTS! this was all my mom's and mami's idea! ARGH! so we walked all the way to vivo down there. And again i must bear myself of the sight of the sea. sob sob. It was so close and i felt as if i could drown at any time. but actually it was impossible. It's just that i was so scared of it. sobsob. and my feet hurt when we reached vivo. We took bus from there to home.

4 june
watched kor aan played GE before we went back to kuching. sob sob. it will be very quiet at home. nt that becoz he talked a lot. but it was nt fun anymore. but if he was arnd i wonder wad we would do anywae. spore is small and nothing much to do. and it took me three days to start speaking to him. i felt so patethic. I cant even bring myself to speak to older cousins like him after a long time never meet each other. i feel like~~ eating spices and screamt and talked as long as i can while it burns my mouth. i hate myself for that. i feel vulnerable.
again played GE the whole day.

5-8 june
nothing much. just played GE and did the Maths hw from ace-learning. i also started doing my MT hw.

well. i think im gonna play GE now. haha. cya. bye. seem the post is quite short. enjoy urself reading it yeah~

warm up

2007-05-29T12:12:00.000+08:00

LOL. Okay, i shall tell u abt yesterday later. Now, i want to say whatever in my mind. I'm creating this post as a warm up before i start writting the compo for charissa. I have planned the storyline but i still need to "put my heart, mind and soul" into the actual compo. Bleahz. But i dun want to dissapoint her. I mean she was very shocked when i told her of my english mid-year result esp the compo and the letter. So this time i must show her i can do it. yay!jia you shanny. And here i am. She said that i have to do some free writting before writting the actual one. LOL.
Now i shall tell u the frisbee lesson todae. It was fun as usual.The weather was hot and we sweat a lot. haha. The morning sun is alwaes healthy. (Wad am i talking haha). I saw some of the classes were ready for the environment seminar thing as well. And could see many primary schl students. Guess that in the afternoon there will be more of them. Anywae back to the topic. Frisbee. As usual i couldnt throw the frisbee properly and so decided to stay as a defender. But then my skill wont get better lahz~just stood there and watched. Sigh. Guess must try to be the midfielder next lesson. LOL.
About yesterday, hmmmmmmmmmm. We went to the childcare. I was nervous but tried to look cool and lame. LOL. And the first impression abt the children was that they were naughty. But actually we managed to capture their attention. dunno why. coz they actually heard of the story already from eunice's group. hmmmmmmm, suspicious. Maybe "they like me". *puke*. MY GOD. THAT WAS SO THICK-SKIN OF ME. And anywae, de yun did most of the thing. So guess they liked him. LOL. and when the principal gave back the feedback, i felt so relieved. Most of the comments are good. haha.
went home and did homework. didnt really go online. Then when i wanted to retire from my homework, i heard a BANG sound. At first i didnt really care abt it. And my mom was like shouting(coz she was in the living rm and i was in e room) ,"Shanny, is that you!? You okay or not?!" "NO!!!I'm okay!its nt me obviously"
(whenever there was BANG sound she would alwaes checked me first coz it is alwaes me who alwaes fall or wadever. I alwaes do the weird2 stuff.)
then my aunt who lives next door shouted," Sis, is that you?!" my mom went to kitchen to check and said,"no. its nt here"
then my aunt suddenly screamt, "Shin!!!Are u okay!?" OMG!i finished my last qs and went out. My sis?! Where?! Then everyone crowded at the stairs and looked downstair. I didnt know wad exactly but i heard :"the girl was driving!" "did she knock shintya?" "no no, almost" "OMG!was she drunk?!or a starter and just learnt how to drive?!" then the next thing i knew my sis came out of the lift. And started explaining it. BLA BLA BLA. Feel too lazy to explain it. And yea before we slept my mom saw a cut on sis' back. =.= TADDA TADDA BLA BLA BLA. Sigh. Guess i will stop here. I want to start my compo now. haha...bb...cya

MY GOD

2007-05-27T20:36:00.000+08:00

let me tell u abt today. woke up very early in the morning but didn't dare to go out of the room as my parents were still asleep. Didnt want to disturb them. And we went to Red Star Restaurant to eat dim sum since my father had been wanting to eat it. And my sister likes to eat dim sum there a lot since the dim sum there was nice(according to her). LOL. I didnt eat the dim sum at all and only ate noodle. I also dunno why i dun like it. And i guess u realize i have changed my style of writting. It's because of the book "Dracula" which i have been reading currently. Charissa said that the way the author wrote is interesting. Indeed it is. It is in diary format. And it's very detailed. WOW!and i can't stop reading it. Happy that it is holiday and i can spend as much time as i want in reading. anywae dun misunderstand me. Im nt a bookworm. I just find some books interesting and start reading them quickly.
after eating at Red Star we went to Suntec to see the book fair and found nothing interesting. So parents went home while we went all the way to Expo. You guess what. I didnt buy any book. I feel damn bad. We went all the way there but buy nothing. It's very far away and a waste of money really. In the end it's my sis who got some books. Sigh. So after that went to Queensway to check my eyes. BAD NEWS. I knew that my degrees became worse but i didnt expect them to increase very quickly. In one year the degrees go up by 150. OMG. And now i have no choice but to wear my glasses everywhere and everytime. I feel so sad. Im nt used to it yet and i guess i look worse. Who cares abt my look anywae. Just ignore it.
I felt dizzy becoz of the specs but after took a shower i felt better. Then of course ate dinner. It was the leftovers from yesterday. And guess i didnt tell u abt last night? We went to Ako Shinta's house to celebrate her daughter. I felt very left out but atcually i didnt even feel to talk to them. They are strangers to me and I am one to them. I prefer my cousins in Indo a lot. I'm closer to them. I dunno whether im too shy that i never talk to them or isit becoz i really DUN LIKE them. I really have no reason to dislike them though. Sigh. It's just so confusing an complicated.
after dinner of course went online. I did parts of Maths homework as well. And i added some new contacts in my MSN. My couz's contact. I'm telling u, today im nt in a very good mood. I dunno the exact reason but i guess its becoz of the dissappointement of having to wear my glasses everytime. And these cousins of mine worsened my mood. And my mood suddenly became very dark. And I hated them a lot at the moment. I know it's unfair coz they dunno that i was nt in good humour. But stil i think their words were really burning me up. They might think it was funny, but seriously i didnt find it so. It was stupid and RUDE. Yes we are cousins but u still have to respect one another's feelings. They are actually nt that bad but when they came together, they wil become a bully. They will become very very very BAD. I was very hurt that i really typed this for my personal message: "What did i do wrong to deserve such cousins like you?who hurt others without a clue?or pretend to know not"
u imagine how upset i was that i dare to say that. I didnt really care what they would think of it. They can talk anything bad out of it and spread it like a wild fire. They are guys but dun mistake them for guys these days are like girls. and i gave u an example of it. I told u that i love my cousins in indo, but nt all. and seriously, I think "wongchun" is far better than those guys. Even though wongchun seemed to be the worst cousin i had ever had, now i change my mind. He is nt as bad as those STUPID guys. At least i know it is his nature to be irritating and am already prepared for it. But these guys, smtms they can be good and other times can be bad. I guess it's just like me and frankly smtms i hate being the ME now. I dunno whether this character flow in our blood or wad. But most of my relatives are like that. I dunno abt you though. Are u like that?
i think i shall stop here. 9.25 now and think should continue doing homework. Anywae tmr going to west mall interchange at 3.10. Arrive there i mean. And on wed need to go VCH and meet with the rest at 6.30 at Raffles Place MRT station. Holiday is just as busy as normal school days. Sigh. Bye Bye Cya and ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY + the homeworks and coming back to schl. Sarcastic~

long time never blogged bah

2007-05-26T17:02:00.000+08:00

okay i think this post is gonna be a long long one..haha...coz long time never updated and i have a lot of things to say....first let's start from todae's events..LOL...todae received the report card..well i think im gonna brag now..hahaz...i top the class and i am in the 2nd position in the whole level!!!out of 100 over ppl!!yay...i thought my rank would drop..haha...but i still have a lot to learn..and i tell u, mrs loh rawks!!mrs margaret loh i meant...not MF..haha..usually remerks abt me are very borring...the teachers only said shanny very hardworking bla bla bla..all the good stuffs...but mrs loh, she got said "however"....khekhe..."she still has much to learn on leadership skills"..isnt she good?she is the BEST!!there is a lot still to learn..and she is the first teacher who asks me to learn sth different...sth that will be useful in my life..unlike other teachers who think that im gd enough be being the me now..
and yea~~on duty just now...but i did nothing much really....just collect the holiday forms and mith did most of the things..feel bad...but tts me and i must change it..hahaz..after that went to eat at sakuraya..was like rushing coz charrissa was coming at 1....and i was on time??haha...okai so her lesson was as usual...long time never see her bha...LOL....and i started doing my holiday homeworks..i did most of the maths assingns already..muahahaha...feel so proud...LOL...=.=
now its time to talk abt the previous previous days...i only remember a bit which make impacts on my live really~~~

yesterday:
went to schl (dhe=.=)and i realized i forgot to bring malay book....sigh..and the teachers told all the chairmans and vicechairs to assemble...and then choir members were supposed to assemble in the canteen to be briefed by mrs loh for dunno wad..but couldnt leave...and decided to stay for the briefing by mrs terrance since it was more important..the list of the duty was with mith so i didnt submit it..and she told us wad to do for the meet-the-parent session thing..."be polite blablabla"LOL...
then went back to class...and was informed that the ms loh just now briefed us abt the 1st june..we were supposed to come to schl in choir costume at 3..and the performance will start at 7..LOL...4 hrs..fine~~~
and i gathered all the com members to give out the card to them..haha...and said the things mrs terrance asked me to...haizzzzzzz.......and the lessons were like usual...nothing special i think..i was feeling very sleepy..and no choir for the day.....found ms loh after schl to get the tickets.....

24 may 2007..
i guess that is the day when everything went wrong...in the beginning of the day i was in a gd mood even though there was PE..haha...was like trying to be happy..and actually the day went okay...i helped to tone the wordings on the wall outside the class.and quite satissfied with the result....but everything went wrong..joel called me and said mrs loh wanted to see me...actually she got asked me to see her in the morn...it sruck me a few times...but i ignored it and thought that it was nt important..and now i know im very irresponsible and have thought that wadever mrs loh said would nt be very important...wad a selfish thought is that..and when i saw her that day she calle dme"naughty girl, how could u forget that u are supposed to meet me?u have a lot of things to do with the class...but now most of them will be gone already...naughty girl"....
OMG...wad had i done?!i did it to the class.wad a bad2 girl....and while i was listening to her i was holding back my tears...but i couldnt hold it back..and i cried...sigh...embarrassing...and i scared her..todae she told my mom abt it...and i didnt know wad to say lahzzz..they spoke in chinese and i was like"errrrr....wad?"
haha...and at home later my mom explained it to me...now i feel extra guilty for the whole thing.....

guess this is it bah..nd to go...haha...bb..cya..enjoy the post....its messy though

i love the song

2007-05-19T09:34:00.000+08:00

firstly i wanna say that i love th song If!!!im already bored with those snogs we sang for SYF lahz..and this song is also very touching...ooo and i love it!!i love the sop1's ending part!!!weee~~~"if the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die, i'd spend the end with you and when the world was through, then one by one the stars would all go out. And you and I would simply fly away~~"
and yesterday we practised the SYF songs again for the performance on wed and i tell u this~~the songs SUCKS!!we cant sing as well as last time..and mamayog akun was super sharp..i think it was more than 1 tone sharp...yuck,..it was so disgusting lahz...and they ended e practice very early~~before 5 lehz....LOL...and yea yesterday jie yenny came!!!and of course with grandparents, ie ngoli and utqiu and qumei~~LOL!!this morning they all went to china with my parents..sigh so im alone now and my sis is still sleeping...haizzzz....yesterday we went to vivo and just looked around lohz...i bought some bracelets for chen2 and tiara..and a small cute statue from daiso for karuna..LOL....time passed by very quickly~~~anywae jie yenny and they all would be back on the 23rd again..yay!!!will meet her again soon...so happy...and soon her bro would come over also...but by that time, jie yenny would be back in Bpp....sigh....
and about schl tmr~~was okay lahz..and i got 85 for art!!!oh and i forgot to tell u abt the other subjects...im nt here to show off horh..im here to post my marks and save it here for my future use~~LOL!!lame~~=.= overall maths i got 87, geo overall got 72, english overall MYE is 61(nt added to the CTs), MT i think i told u before it is 85?if im nt wrong~~then wad else?LOL~~~science!!!i dunno the overall yet but i know the MYE score~~86 is it?i forget liao la!!!!my memory is so bad!!!sobs~~
hmmmmmm~~~now i dunno wad else to post for todae...*think think* humph..did sth special happen yesterday in schl??other than choir.....ohhh~~that environment seminar wad thing crap lahz...i ask the class and told them group by groups exactly wad mrs terrance told me..mith and i only got 3 ppl wanna go..of course they are joel, malcolm and nicholas....sigh...and mrs terrance said if only few ppl wanna go then she will insist the whole class to go...wadever and i wont sacrifice myself for the class okay!!tts unfair..i agree with wad valerie said..so if u ppl are forced to go~~not my fault....im not ur slave and u are not my slave also!!but pls can u gimme more respect...i know i dun deserve it~~but can u at least show it to mith!?u voted him as ur leader~~yet wad do u do to him?! give him more trouble...tts wad i see with my own eyes...u dont respect him at all...its too much~~
i think tts all i wanna say for now..i think~~~hahaz..okai...bb..cya!!and jia you for the ppl there(u know who im referring to~~if u dunno then~~~dunno)

SO FUN!!!Frisbee is so fun

2007-05-15T19:25:00.000+08:00

wah to dae was so so so~~~FUN!!!!!i am grateful that i had chosen frisbee...it is damn fun lahz...run here run there catch here catch there..hahaz...well...about the lessons~~~so borring lahz...the teachers all never came except mrs loh mf...haiz~~and of course p lim....and i received geo todae..i was damn scared...i heard that the highest score in the level is 76 from 2/1....and i was afraid that i would get 50....sobs...but it is 72!!so happy...ppl dun be upset okay!!!must try harder and study harder....even though i know that history is far more difficult..anywae, my overall mark for geo is 72.25...tts already added to CA marks...sigh....sad~~but i know im nt the worst and i must try harder...mo offence and im nt so smart okay...
and i am still so scared coz tmr~~~wad if the other teachers return and give our results~~i want this worry to end sooner so i dun nd to "suffer" from curiosity anymore...but by the time the teacher gonna give back the paper, i always feel like fainting and wish that the teacher havs not come..LOL!
hahaz..and back to frisbee~~we ran 5 rounds around the court and stretching exercises for warm up..hahax...at first i was afarid that i might sprain my "butt" even more...LOL!!not really the butt lah.....but it is around there...and left side okay...LOL!maybe i had sat too long already in the morning...and the "lesson" by p lim was somewad interesting...hahaz!!i learnt more how to play frisbee...but but~~i still cant throw the thing properly...and i hate the field..its wet and there are so many insects hiding in the grass...LOL..i was listening to p lim when suddenly i felt sth bit me....it was a green spider!!!!arghhh!!!scary lah..then i just kicked it off loh..and after the game we did somemore strectihng lah...and i was very scared okay!!!i felt as if my heart gonna pop out...two small butterflies or maybe moths(i think they are doing that reproducing thing since they stick together~LOL)on my right leg!..and i kicked kicked and kicked until they fell to the ground..fell off my leg..finally lah...and they were still sticking together....=.= yuck..it was sickening~~~
then after that we went to choir...we learnt new song..and the more i looked at the score the more confused i got...LOL..and luckily the notes are just simple....and we only need to sing "doo"....LOL...again lah...and i heard that mr low is stepping down in July...i am so sad....i feel so guilty for not being able to give him a gold with honors...and he steps down to further his studies...he must be feeling bad for us and thinks that it is his fault that we gat only gold..but frankly he is the best conductor i have ever known..and he is so passionate...and i feel like begging in front of him for forgiveness and our foolishness for nt being serious enough during practices...and nelson kewi is going to take over the choir!!!OMG!!he is GOOD...and i feel very happy when i heard it lah...he is a gold with honors conductor and he is gonna teach us!!!but i will miss mr low badly..and i feel guilty for feeling happy that nelson kwei will take over...
well i guess thats all i wanna say abt todae...haha!!im so tired after the frisbee...but i sweat a lot..and im contented abt it...u know im fat so i think this will help me..since im so lazy to do my own exercises..haha...bb..cya

worried~~

2007-05-14T18:25:00.000+08:00

Well...there is a lot of things i want to post todae...let me list the things before i forget:
1. school todae
2. that PW thing
3. my feelings about some people(nt in school)
4. my worries abt tmr

well....school~~the first day of school after MYE ended...i expected to receive some of the results todae.....but i only get to see my MT and tts also some sections only..why didn't mrs tham come i dunno...but actually i am relieved lah...coz i dun get to see my result..LOL...and i dun nd to be hauted by those marks..LOL..and i am super happy with my MT oral and paper2..coz p2 i got 62.5/70 ! while oral i got 36/40!woot!!!but my letter only got 12.20...damn sad..usually i got 18..tts high...well...maybe only for practices then can get that high...now the problem is~~~if my letter get only 12 then wad abt my compo?!it will be more horrible coz i dunno how to write narrative...i must be mentally prepared...haiz haiz haiz....and it was totally borring lahz...i mean there were two free periods.......now let's talk abt the next thing~~

the project work~~~well~~it is quite interesting actually..and im gonna take the advertising module as my first choice and water conservation as my second choice...my third choice will be design...LOL...i aim to be an architect..and actually i chose design...but since my friend said it was abt the same as DnT and not like wad i had expected~~i decided to follow stella and yiqing to choose advertising as my first choice..it is quite interesting also i think..haha....and i dunno why but i think im into water too much...hahaha....its like GEO i did project on water and this project also i chose water...sigh...wadever....and todae had to stay back from 1.30 to 4.30....to learn wadever thing on how to find the relevant infos and the fact..at first i wasnt very interested...but slowly my interest developed....but i hate that one teacher lahz...the one in the first section...arghh...i hate her...she was like ,"the girls at the corner, say out your answer please. Don't be overwhelmed by the guys." WTH!!!wads her problem lahz!!wads wrong with being girls eh!?and wads if we sit at the corner!?does that mean that we dun pay attention to u and having our own good times at the corner?!i HATE her lahz!!!she taught for 10 years wadever, but i dun think she even understands us lahz..then she still admitted that she could see from our face whether we were serious or not..i dun think she can be qualified as teacher even....to me she is just a beginner..wadever...im so pissed off by her so pardon me if i sound very RUDE horh....

NOW, lets talk about these people that have been giving me headache and have been arguing since dunno when...i wont tell u who are they so i just call them she and SHE...okie....i dunno who start first or wadever, but im really pissed off by their argument.....cant u imagine living with ppl who always talk behind each other's back(nice things and bad things) and you are quite close to both of them and u dunno who u should side with?!its horrible..i have been standing in my position not siding to any side and only give comments smtms...and tts only to the she...smtms i feel like saying comments to the SHE also....but~~~no no no....i think it'll make the matter worse..i dunno whether it is the she who likes to lie a lot or is it the SHE that thinks too much..but they are making my life HELL enough..they have not been arguing lately lahz..but todae~~~arghhh...and i dun have the evidence to prove who is wrong and who is right..and i can only watch and listen....i wonder how long can i stand this for....i wonder when will i start screaming at them and make the matter worse...wonder when will i lose my control over my own actions.....guess i send u shuddering over these words..LOL...dun worry....ill try my best~~~

now back to school life.....im damn scared of tmr lehz.......tmr got science and maths..and el..arghhhhh...oh man oh man~~~~and tmr there is PE!!!and ill be doing my 2.4 which is due long time ago...hope mr lim will come loh..i prefer runngin 2.4 rather than running short distance with no warm up at all....i hate that teacher~~~if you know whom i referring to..its not mr lim obviously..he is far better than HIM.....okie......i think tts all i wanna say..i wanna eat already...HUNGRY...haha...bb..cya!!!

I feel that i become very possessive now

2007-05-13T11:28:00.000+08:00

i dunno..but since yesterday i have been very possessive..over wad i'm not too sure...but that feeling has been haunting me these days...sigh...and yesterday i was so~~~i dunno...i suddenly felt like crying....arghhh...it was horrible...i feel that im a spoiled child really...but im nt....maybe im becoming more and more selfish and stubborn?arghh...stop talking abt this..
actually todae im exited about going out with my sis...haha..u see she has nt even woken up now lah...wahlau....but we planned to go out anywae...if she suddenly says she is lazy, im really gonna kill her....oh...and todae is her birthday!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY CIe SHIN!!!tts if she sees my blog..haha...
and i want to say sth...at first i didnt agree with Eunice that all Indonesian girls are pretty u see...coz i thought only the chinese in Indonesia are pretty..LOL...im very racist..but mostly only the chinese are pretty..LOL..and if she said that, I strongly agree!!!nt that im pretty kk....but others are very pretty...haha...i saw the pictures of my cousin's friends, and OMG..they are pretty...and finella's friends are also pretty...LOL...about the guys~~~~i dun think so!!!i think the guys in singapore are better...LOL....indonesian guys are only so-so...no offence....tts the fact anywae..hahaz..but some are handsome lah...haha..for eg my cousins....but their attitude got problem i tell u...sigh...sad~~~
well~~since this is still very early in the morning..nothing much happened to me todae yet..so tts all i wanna say for now..haha..bb..cya..

Spread My Wings

2007-05-12T15:03:00.000+08:00

weeeeee~~~~i love the song Spread My Wings by Takehara Tomoaki from shadow hearts 3....i have been hearing it many times yet i do not feel bored..and it is like very soothing even though it is up-beat...when he sings the "spread my wings" part, i feel like i really want to fly also...haha!funny...i wonder whether he is a new singer or an old one..haahhahaha..sounds new though....he is nt very popular..maybe i should wait for dunno how many years down the road until i know who is he...haha
haiz..and since morning just now i played sims2...damn scary lohz..it is quite long time since last time a made a character with aspiration of knowledge...so i played it again..and the character wanted to see ghost..so i killed other random characters and saw the ghost...i know it is a game..but still...when the ghost appeared so suddenly, it was so scary...sigh, maybe im a coward?hahaha!
and just now i made the skin for tiara's blog...well...it is far nicer than mine now lahz!I feel like switching skins with her lorh..and she doesnt know abt the skin yet...coz she is offline now and i cant inform her...hehe...should i?should i change it?haiz...nvm lah....i admire Jigoku Shoujo so must stay with this skin......
hahaha...arghhhh so borring...those ppl wanna come to our house this evening..very irritating lehz..dasar penjilat...sigh...cant they just leave us alone?i want to live in peace.....pls lorh~~~wonder wad should i do now?so few ppl are online...and it is borring...and i'm waiting for sth..sth to happen but it most likely won't happen....wishes will not always come true..even if u wish for it with your whole heart, smtms it wont happen straight away.....sad~~~hikksss.....huaaahhhuhuhuhuhu..
like wad i have said in the last post...these days i have been wanting sth to happen to me...sth unpredictable....but if i wish it to be unpredictable then it wont be unpredictable anymore..wadever....i bet u don't understand wad u have just said....haha..arggggghhhhh!!!this is so boooorrrrinng...
i think tts all i wanna say..i will update again tmr..i will try to do it....coz i think my blog is rarely updated also..haha......i wanna make it as lively as possible..hahaa....but this blog is a HELL you see....if u realize....and how can a hell be lively?lively with corpses?LOL...thats creepy..well...bye bye..cya!

IM SO HAPPY

2007-05-11T17:48:00.000+08:00

OMG!!I did it!!!YES!!!I did the oral!!and with it i officially declare that my exam is over!!!!YES!!!!finally~~~but serously i would rather sit for exam rather than doing projects...haha..but nvm...i must enjoy my weekend..khekhe..dun think abt those projects yet..haha
anywae, todae hudah and salif were late for oral..haha....*give an evil look* both came together and late together *smile evilly*.....LOL...change topic
well...todae went to stella's house for that NYAA project....arghhh thinking abt it amazed me but also angered me...first i was so angry actually abt kh being super late....but i tried very hard to make my face look cool...LOL...maybe not horh....i dunno but i think my face was cool enough..haha..and i was bitten by those stupid mosquitos...arghhhh....and it was so itchy that i keep scratching my legs and hands..the ppl passing by must have thought that i was nuts.....okai....anywae i was amazed by Stella's condo...her house is smaller than mine bt OMG...it is so quite......and it is very very~~~i dunno how to decribe it but..i just feel comfortable there...i LOVE it...unlike my house~~all my the furnitures are like rotten already~~hahaha..but the climb up was tiring though...hahahaz.....
nehhhhhh~~~~so just now i played sims2...kinda borring after playing it too much..sigh....i feel like going out.......haiz....but my sis is having exam todae and i doubt she would wanna go out..she would be very tired when she comes home...sigh...so sad~~and i think tmr charissa is coming...well must catch up with my english also...i cant just leave it like that even though the exam is over...there is still end of year exam to worry abt...it is still very long but time will pass by very fast..and there is oral remember...the section i hate most...even though it is the easiest part to score..sigh...
oh i forgot to tell u sth....haha....my mom and i planned to go to sby during the holiday!!!yay!!!i feel so excited abt it!!!i think we will be going after mami and kor aan go back to kuching....haha...i also cant wait for their arrival here...now that exam is over, i feel even more and more excited that i feel my heart wanna burst..im just so HAPPY!!!!Can't you feel it?!KYAAAAAAA!!!>.<
im gonna go shopping buy comics, eat snacks and indonesian food that i miss so much...and i can buy games too!!!!oooh!!!!!!HAPPY YIPPEE....
bt these days i feel sth strange..i suddenly miss some ppl..haha..well...and the most weird thing is that i dun even noe them very well...i dunno....i just feel that i wanna see them again....like wanna say sth..haha...weird huh....they are just~~~nothing to me at first.....i dunno why suddenly i miss them...sigh..nt really miss maybe but long to see them again...hahaha...haiz
and when talking abt this suddenly i think about FATE....sigh....i wonder wad is my fate actually....arghhh....im becoming more weird and weird and i think im thinking too much already....sigh........i~~i~~~arghhhhh!!!!wad am i thinking abt!?wad am i talking abt?!arghhhh....maybe im too bored now that i think of weird weird things....hahaz...ooo sis....come back faster......cant u just bring me out or at least gimme sth to do..nt study pls..haha....okai i think tts all i wanna say..bb..cya...

HEADACHE!!arvghhhh

2007-05-10T15:34:00.000+08:00

man~~~~i dunno wads wrong with my head todae..it is so painful..i think it is becoz of the wind too strong..sigh.....anywae..just now the art was okay..haha...quite satissfied with it actually....hahaha...
and since my head is so painful and i cant do much with it, i watch some new animes...and i didnt feel like sleeping either....i watched Deltora Quest and Koutetsu Sangokushi..and i have this bad feeling abt Koutetsu...sth really2 bad...well~~the characters are all guy~~~and some of them look like girls...and the girlish-looking ones' voice was like girls' also...OMG...and~and~OMG~! u should just watch it yourself and u will think there is sth wrong with it...they are all very handsome and pretty looking one lohz and i thought that the anime was nice...well the story was quite nice lahz....but~~~nt that they are all gay wadever2 thing...but still~~dont u think it is weird to have a story tat only includes males?i mean it will be boring....cih..and its abt war..it will be bloody and all that....yuck....dunno lah...actually i also dunno wad im wrting abt...and actually the ainme is nt bad..hahaz..i was just shocked by the characters...haha
this is so borring....i wanna play but my head is so painful....and tmr is MT oral...cant stop thinking abt it...sigh...bad bad...i havent even started pratising....mehhhhhh....
stupid head stupid head....stop torturing me, can?sigh..and abt my new blogskin i think i should just forget abt making the Jigoku Tsushin skin..its damn complicated...and im quite lazy to find the code..sigh..thinking of making dgray-man blog skin or roxas' skin..haha...and too bad that i cant make it todae as well...yeaterday was like playing Xenosaga II..and there were so many dungeons MY GOD..i feel like staring Xenosaga III immediately..but i must get to high levels for the II so that in Xeno3 it will much easier...arghhhhh...sigh....forget it....my head is going to explode...haha....i think thats all i wanna say....bye2....cya...

after exam

2007-05-09T17:57:00.000+08:00

O.o
well..finally~~only art and MT oral exam left..nyehehehe....but now i wish that the examination week won't end....becoz...after that we will continue with our NYAA project which i dun feel like doing at all..i prefer to lock up myself in the room and study rather than doing that kind of project...sigh....arghhhh~~
nvm shall wait till the mid year holiday then start playing as much as i want....
well~~i dunno abt the exam yea..i dunno and cant predict how high i will be able to get for each subject...i really have no faith in my geo paper and maths paper 1....i was so nervous when i was doing the maths p1...coz that day i woke up late and rushed to schl...well i wasn't late...but still~~i was so scared....and my heart beat very fast..and when i was doing the paper i couldnt think at all..my mind was in a whirl...and i felt so dizzy when looking at those numbers~~~ahhhh...and my mind was only clear 30 mins before the time reaxched its limit..arghhh....i was like chiong-ing..and i couldnt properly check the paper...and again my mind was in a mess...and i left one qs blank...arghhh...hafway done....then before p2 started, i saw mr elfie coming to class...OMG...he was going to invigilate us....haha..then suddenly he walked to my table..i was like~~~~"wad is going to happen to me?" i thought i did sth wrong or sth like that...then he gave me choc......i was like dots....then he said "from mrs loh....u know why rite?" "ooooo..okai..ty..."
LOL....very funny...and my mind was extra clear when doing p2 and i am confident abt it...although i know i lost abt 5 marks already..haha....and geo~~~well.....dunno.......nt very sure abt that.....so when my mom asked me "how was the paper?" "dunno"
LOL.....and todae the science paper was quite easy..yippeeeee....hahaha....i was like very scared last night..coz in the evening i dun really study..i was drawing my manga characters again...and when i looked at the clock it was already 9!!!so i just read and look through the book he recommended to us...and only few qs came out from it..and he said that he set the paper...but actually it was nt him lorh!!!!arghhhh
then our invigilators were mrs loh mf and margaret loh...LOL..the two Lohs....hahahha....and i was very shocked when i saw loh mf beside my table!!woooshhh.....i hope she didnt see my shocked expression..hahaha....anywae i think tts all i want to say for now..i want to change my blog skin and work on my cousin's...haha....she asked for it a long2 time ago...and only now i feel like doing it..hahaha....cya...i will come up with the skin soon....plan to make a jigokushutshin or wadever thing it is callled....hahaha..bb...

arghhhhhhh...exam~~~

2007-05-02T10:25:00.000+08:00

LOL...long time never update..hahaha...i guess i can't wait till exam to end then post...haha...besides i feel very bad..ppl come to my blog and tag but i never provide them with interesting posts and i never replied their tags..sorrie ppl...haha.....and sorrie my blog...hahaha...
anywae, i haven't really started revising for exam yet..sigh...hiz..its all becoz of my computer and sims2!!!i always get distracted......sigh...omg!!!next week next week~~~i want it to come earlier tho..and end faster..but yet im not prepared..LOL...funny
anywae, this is already may and my last post is on 17 april..tts a way long time ago!!!!hohoho....well.....yesterday my uncle suddenly called us and said that charlie is going to be sent here..well here comes the problem...dunno what schl to send him to..and because of this, i have to plan where to go after secondary, NOW!!!arghh!!!i dun want to think abt it loh..but, this matter forces me to..sigh...so sad....im in dilemma....but i must think abt my current situation first....arghh...wadever..dunno wad im talking.......sigh........forget it
and tmr is sci class test on chemical formulae.....wish me luck todae okai...i hope my brain won't explode while trying to memorise all those formulae.....LOL..anywae i dunno how to spell formula?formulae?what?!
haiz..ohhhh....and i havent told u abt my MT and el axams....haha....well...MT was rather difficult coz i dunno how to do comprehension cloze......and i dunno wad to write for compo as all titles were on narrative..hahaha.........sigh...and there is oral to come...OMG!!!scared~~~~and el..the compo was a disaster but compre was quite okai....the vocab was a tsunami tho...i guess ill get 0 out of 5......and summary~~~~~~~~~~~omg~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh....................IT lesson now...........we can surf internet...but dunno where to go now..hahaha......i think this is all i want to say...i want to post i meant...bb..cya....................wish me luck for exam!!!and everyone who tagged at my blog, thank you very much...hahahaha..

siiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhh

2007-04-17T21:03:00.000+08:00

now i have decided..haha..im happy that exam is coming and it is going to be over soon...and im happy that syf is this week....well....i just want it to be over...at first i was scared that we would not get the gold of honors..but now after i heard to wad mr low said, i felt better..we are going on stage not to get the award..but to show ppl our feelings abt singing..tat we love singing and we love that piece of song and understand it with out whole heart..=D...mr low is the best conductor ever!!!!yay...maybe not but to me he is..hahaz...
well...actually the ppl around me have started revising for exam already..but u see me still blogging here..haha...which means that im slacking despite the fact that exam is coming!!!sigh..cant help it..i tried to revise and do eng..but i cant concentrate..wad is the use of staring at ur work without doing it at all?sigh.....i must get that mood back for it is an emergency here...sigh..bad bad..
and yesterday sience com test was horrible loh...i mean he never taught us some of the stuff...a bit only lah but still i dun like his attitude lately...before monday rite, he didnt come to our class lah...sigh...seriously if he doesnt want to teach us just change teacher lah..he got mood swing one eh...smtms he is super duper nice to us, but other time he is like very fierce and throw tantrum here and there..sigh...human beings are complicated after all..even i admit that im unpredictable, sth in gd humor smtms in bad mood smtms totally crazy, smtms an anime freak, smtms like to study a lot..sigh....life is complicated...haiz
i have been telling myself to practise my eng and mt...but cant help it!!!!argh!!!i really want to bang my head and throw this laptop to the dustbin..but of course i wont have the heart to do it right...but really because of this laptop and my lazy brain, i cant concentrate on my study...sigh.......why oh why i have a lazy brain..last time i was not like this...i studied and played and able to balance beteen them..but now, my brain is totally dead and distractions have been everywhere...sigh....i feel like crying....and now my iPod is playing a sad song...WTH!!!shut up u stupid iPod!!!arghhh!!spoiled my mood really....okai lah...i will stop here..i have been talking rubish in this post..bb..cya....

EXAM IS COMING!!!

2007-04-15T21:11:00.000+08:00

omg!!exam is coming!!and SYF also coming!!!OMG!!!i feel like fainting...i dunno whether im happy that it is soon gonna be over or whether im worried over it...OMG!!!argh!!!
this week was like hell...much hw to do and i must revise for exam also..well...i also have been playing of course...i wonder how i can survive these days without my sims2 and ps2 games..sigh...but even though this week has been difficult i think i also played hard..hahaz..well.i think i must stop thinking of playing next week...besides i have promised to myself that i must get good result for this Mid-year exam..im not saying i must be the first...good is enough...because i want to enjoy my holiday with satissfaction in my heart..i want to enjoy it really!!!coz my cousins are coming!!!!im so happy...i feel like bursting now!!!and my cousins are smart u know~~so i dun want to lose to them!!and i want to celebrate it with them!!!=D arghhh!!!my heart is bursting with joy!!!
i have been playing Onimusha Dawn of Dreams....well...not bad though i dun really know the story since im playing the jap version...lol!!!!i anyhow wacked enemies without bothering abt the story..sigh....i know im a bad and ignorant player...i told u im not a gd RPG player..i can't focus on one game...
well.....*rub rub face* stop talking abt games...well....abt the MT oral practice Cikgu gave me~~~i didnt do it seriously...hahaz....omg...i think im turning into a heartless....or maybe since im flooded with so many emotions that i dun feel anything at all?omg...bad bad bad....i dunno wad im feeling now...arghh...stop it stop it..and i dunno wad im talking sia...argh...omg..and no i forget wad i want to talk abt in this post...maybe abt my confusion and feeling????
argghhhh..enough2..i think ill stop here...sigh..

wak!!

2007-04-11T10:58:00.000+08:00

weee~~~we are going off to class in 5minutes.still...try to update my blog during IT lesson..not much time dhe..well..i dunno wad to write also...but i just wanna update haha....these days have benn given so much hws...sigh...and todae gonna have a tuition...omg...el summary must be handed in by tmr!!!opps..the bell rang..bye2

library is fun

2007-04-08T16:27:00.000+08:00

muahahaha...well~todae woke up at 9.30 coz had to go to somewhere~~hahaha...with my family...lol..then we went for lunch at yoshinoya at takashimaya..well...quite bored with yoshinoya already..guess have been eating there too often..lol...
then my mom and dad went to tiong bahru NTUC to buy food supply..while we went to library to spend time there..my sis is doing some project so she needed to find some reference..while i just looked around for fun..found a lot of interesting books...but i just borrowed one coz i dun think ill be able to finish reading so many things in 3 weeks..sigh...and im thinking of returning yan ting's book first...coz im scared i wont read it anywae..^^sorrie yan ting...borrowed but never read...ill return the book tmr...hahaz...
now im doing the NYAA thing..i mean painting our puppet..ahaha...well..i think ill end here..this is far too short..but i dun have anything in my mind now...bye2..see ya....hope that i won't get distracted and would be able to paint my puppet..sigh...todae got tuition somemore..sigh..bye2...sianz

stubborness

2007-04-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

i realized that there is no use of being stubborn and being proud of myself...i still have to accept other ppl's way of life and respect their experiences..and i must learn from them and mend my own way of life...i learnt from them a lot of things and i know that my life is going to rot if i dun mend it asap....
i also learnt that i must mend my relationships with my relatives and cousins...they may be irritating smtms..but they will change, won't they?and they will realize wad they have been doing sooner or later..or maybe they dun even realize that they did it..haha..but they are still my relatives...there is a saying in malay, "air dicencang tiada putus" which means that even though relatives quarrel, they will be good to each other again...haha..so that saying is true..and i try to follow it..and it is a success..haha..so pls if u have bad relationships with ur family or relatives, pls mend them asap..before it is late..but actually it will never be late...u will alwaes be on time..khekhekhe...
well..im trying to look wise here...lol...lame =.= anywae, i think ill end here...bye2...cya...terubozu!!

terubozus!!

2007-04-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

todae is filled with terubozus!!and i love terubozus!!yayayay..kor jio, kor aan, and charlie drew terubozus for me!!look at the picture above..hahaz...^^

well..i slacked the whole day and just completed my art..maybe tmr im gonna start to be serious..so todae must enjoy..haha..terubozu terubozu...

winter sleep by olivia

2007-04-06T20:11:00.000+08:00

It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull

Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue
Can you hear me out there?

* Will you hold me now
Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now

Will you hold me now
Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes

But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear
Anyone out there hear me now?

Will you hold me now
Hold me now My frozen heart
Kiss my lips and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now

Will you hold me now
Hold me now My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will

Repeat *

dunno wad to write

2007-04-06T17:44:00.000+08:00

OMG!!these two days have been borring like hell..hahaz...yesterday was cross-country but i dun feel like posting about them at all...but maybe i'll talk a bit abt it lah horh..well...yesterday like usual took taxi...just that it was to Turf City..haha...and then Stella came with me on the way...haha..actually my mom didnt allow me to run since i've been coughing very badly the night before...but then it was like very sianz if i just sat under the tent for 2 hours..haha..so decided to walk..hahahaha!!!!well..i jogged a bit only and it was like very muddy..lol...so my shoes very dirty..i tried to clean them before reaching home so that mom would not find out..but in the end she knew lah...but i told her that i completely walked and didnt run at all...hahaha!
we met yan ting and yiqing at their different posts..so nice that they did not need to run...hehe...but nvm...it was fun anywae..and the distance seemed to be shorter than last year's but it was actually longer by 300 m...hahaz...then after we reached the finishing point and took a packet of drink, i saw eunice fell down..she tripped over her 2/3 friend's leg..=(...and it bleeds...
then waited under the hot sun for an eternity lahz!!at abt 10.30 they started to give out the prizes and abt 11.30 it ended..finally..my head was like very hot loh....
then went homw by taxi...^^ and ate lunch at 12....very early..then went to doctor...well~at least i heard good news...it is recovering but my throat will be very sensitive..hahaz...took quite a long time to recover completely...
after that stella and discussed abt the geo thing..how to conserve water using water cycle..my brain was dead and stella did most of the things loh...i feel bad...but my brain cells were really dead lah...couldnt think of anything..sigh
in the evening chat with kor jio and and tiara...and her friend...haha!im happy that now we understand each other better..i learnt to change my stubborness...^^
todae woke up to do geo...but was distracted...coz kor aan was online and we chat and chat and chat...hahahaz...when he was offline...i tried to concentrate on geo...i did for a while...and i got rephrase some sentences..but a bit only..then couldnt take it and in the end copied and pasted..sigh..sorrie stella...in the end u did most of the things..sobsobsobsobs....hikzhiks...i noe im selfish....sigh
well just now took a nap...and did maths written work and the mid-year paper 2005..hahaha..finally done and here i am blogging...hhehehe..anywae todae's tuition with charissa was cancelled...and changed to tmr at 4...sigh..very worried..she is pregnant..and im scared tt when she gives birth she wont be able to teach me anymore..in fact she is a very gd eng teacher..=( but no choice..she has to look after her child bha...
okie..i think tts all i want to say for todae...bye2..cya when i feel like blogging again..hahaz

borring again and again

2007-04-02T18:50:00.000+08:00

well...todae got nothing to do and i still have maths mid-year exam paper 2005 to do..sigh..so decided to finish it by todae and ask mrs loh all those qs i dunno how to do tmr..hahaz..thinks thats better than stoning..but of course i prefer daydreaming..but my mom will wack me on the head if i do that..hahaz..coz she doesnt want me to slack to much...sigh...booo~~i dunno wad to type now....actually i dun fl like blogging at all...just to update my blog as often as i can....hahaz
and now i feel like changing my blogskin..but have no time to nake it..hahaz...u may wonder why i dun just take skin made by other people..well...its just that it doesnt give me satissfaction..haha...and im easily bored of them..haha...well..i go eat dinner first..hehe..buai..see ya....since i dun have anything else to say also~~hehe...bye=D
(this post is so short)

not studying for tmr com test

2007-04-01T20:09:00.000+08:00

well~last post is craps...i feel kinda foolish when i read it again..haha...anywae it was not from an anime but from a game called Atelier Iris..i've been re-playing because i've lost the save point..lol...so i've been rushing with it since the Atelier Iris 3 is out!!imagine it...i have not even completed the first series yet the third already come out..sigh...and actually i can't play RPGs even though i like them...coz im easily bored...and tts why i have never completed even a single RPG game..not even FF...sigh...i completed the main story of Xenosaga II but i never played the post-game missions...because im bored with it..sigh..bad bad....
anywae, todae i did my hw and was doing it while chatting through MSN..so it was not well done for i was not concentrating on it..hahaz...well~i was chatting with my cousins when suddenly the connection was cut..sigh...so i decided to go to doctor since my throat has not recovered yet..but the doctor was close...my sister saw the time wrongly...sigh...so walked home again...at home i played Atelier Iris 1....until dinner at 7..haha...after that i studied a little bit only and here i am blogging..sigh..dun feel like studying for el at all lah..sigh...and my el is alwaes bad..i dunno want to get bad mark for tmr's com test yet i really dun fl like studying..sigh...it is the only el test for this term and im not gd in formal letter...coz my language is very informal..lol..hahaha...okie lah..i think thats all i want to say..buai...see ya...

daydream

2007-03-31T13:38:00.000+08:00

rite~~i read yizhuang's recent post and i am still laughing like siao now....lololololol...well~im not laughing at her imagination but im laughing at myself..coz i have also been imagining what if i am a manga character now...lololol...and maybe i should be like her..revealing info abt "me" as a manga chracter..i know it is lame and dumb...but it is for fun..im bored now..so please understand...well~~here is a bit abt me~~hehe:

i lived in a "castle" with my brother called Mull..he has long white hair and red eyes...on my 9th birthday, he made me a special "doll"...umm~can i ask u sth?can a doll be a male?usually a doll is a female rite?well..this doll is very special..like i said he is a guy and he is more like my guardian and my playmate...he was of my size and had long green hair..i donot know why but my bro has a same hairstyle as him....lol...that day was his birthdate...but i told him that he was of the same age as me...then i gave him a name...Arlin(if u realize...that is a nickname i've been using for my e-mail add)...
we played and played but one day i found out my bro's true colour....sigh~damn sad~he tried to kill my Arlin!!!sobsobs...(so dramatic~)he said wad wad thing craps lah he...he told me that he must kill Arlin to get that wad Mana crystal thing.WTH.then he also killed other dolls (the maids and the guards in the castle i mean) to get that stupid crystals thing to make wad wad thing i dont understand...
this is the dramatic part~~when his sword was swung towards Arlin's "heart" (if he has any), i blocked him..then i was almost killed and he gave up...lol...so Arlin ran away to the forest and safe...of course my bro scloded me after that...but who cares..i locked up myself in my room and cried and cried...
i lived in that hell for 3 years...my 12th birthday came and my bro wasnt there to celebrate it with me...i was alone on the castle and wished that Arlin was there to celebrate our birthday together..i also wished that he would fetch me and bring me far far away from that hell forever..and amazingly my wishes came true!!!!Arlin really came!!and how surprised i was when i saw that he grew taller!lol!i mean he was a doll...and how can a doll grow i ask u?maybe it was because of that Mana thing...but his hair didnt grow dhe..it was of the same length...i asked him whether he got cut his hair and he said no...lol...okay so we fled from the castle....yippeyippeee!!farewell my brother and the stupid rotten castle!
that night i fell asleep..and when i woke up in the morning i thought that it was just a dream..but the room i was in was different which meant that i was really out of the castle...then i went downstair and saw a young lady with a cute staff...(=.=)she was with Arlin sitting on the table..then he intoduced me to her..she said that har name was Zeldalia and that she was actually 30 times older than me even though she looked very young..that shocked me..but oh well..i have never been out of the castle before and i must learn to accept this new world i was in..hehe..then she asked me wad my bro had been doing in that castle..well i did not know much abt him as we only met to chat..sigh..pathetic...
after i had breakfast i walked with Arlin in the forest..he told me that we couldnt got very far from the house because he didnt really familiar with the forest...then i asked him where he had been living..and he said he was a wonderer since his escape for the castle and that he only visited Zeldalia once a month...poor thing...
so we went back to the house after we had a gd chat...it was decided that i would live with Zeldalia in the Poto Forest while Arlin would wonder to find some info abt Mull..like he said he visited us only once a month...he told me once that he found an alchemist like my bro and that Arlin was now wondering with him and his group....i learnt a lot abt mana thing and alchemist from zeldalia...she told me that my bro was wicked and he was going against the nature of mana to create a monster to conquer the world...i thought he was lame..she also told me the secret of being an immortal like her..heehheee...
but suddenly Arlin never visited us for three months...we started to get worried..so i told Zeldalia that i would go out to find him...i have been going out of the forest for sometimes to do some missions from her..at first she didnt agree for she scared that i would meet Mull..i was also scared of this thought but i was more worried abt Arlin...blablabla...
eventually i found the group Arlin was in..the alchemist was called Klein...they said that Arlin had left them for quite smtm...they were heading to Mull's castle to get their comrade back or sth like tt..i didnt really like the idea of it..but i decided to go with them for i also wanted to talk to my bro...maybe arlin was with him~
we reached that rotten castle which i hated so much...inside we met Mull with a beast!it was very hideous...and surprisingly the beast killed him...he was killed in front of my eyes!!!i ran to him while kelin and friends fought with the beast..i told him that he was the stupidest bro i had known in the world..i was shocked that i was crying for i knew he was wicked and did not worth my tears..but he was still my bro anywae..before he left me, i asked him where was arlin..and he appologised for he said that Arlin was now just a worthless stone inside Iris' Resting Place...the place was near Poto forest...he was on his was to visit us when my bro turned him into a stone!!i was very sad and upset with my bro...and before he gave out the last breath he siad sorrie to me..now my tears couldnt stop flowing....
suddenly klein called me and told me that we must go out immediately..sigh....when we were quite far away, we watched the castle before us crumbled into pieces...the castle which was my home and the castle on which Arlin and I was born...
we immediately headed to Iris' resting place..and Arlin's body was really there..imagine my feeling at that time..i asked Klein to turn my Arlin back for he is an alchemist and would know the solution..i have heard for Zelda that there was a synthesis that can bring back a stone back into a human...luckily Klein knew of it and Arlin was then turned back intohuman..happy happy

ummm~~~~~

2007-03-28T20:05:00.000+08:00

i dun know whether this morning was lucky or unlucky~~i mean...yujie forgot to bring the class key and because of that we couldnt go in the classroom..but because of that also we had sci at the canteen!!!so cool!outdoor classroom!!hehe..but it was a bit embarrassing..i mean~we are the first class who cant go into our own classroom because dun have the key..sigh..
then todae's lessons quite okay..but i was quite angry about the contest for international day thing...stupid leh..why they want us to wear wedding costume!?we still have this childish thoughts u see..sigh..if u understand wad i mean that is..coz i dunno how to explain..then joel anyhow picked my name for the girl volunteerer lah...wth!!i didnt even agree...so when i went for malay lesson i was like in a very bad mood..lucky that cikgu hanita was humorous..and there was hudah to cheer me up..hahaha
but as he relized my bad mood he changed the name..but u noe wad!?he wrote deyun and stella and stella didnt want it..another problem..and we asked mrs loh for oppinion..and she said to draw lots....tt is wise of her loh....he is very wad lah...anyhow picked names..i hate those kinds of people..sigh..
anywae!went to doctor just now...i couldnt stand it..i mean last night i could hardly sleep because i kept on coughing every hour..lol...and my mother kept on awakening and she was fed up....lol....any wae i miss chocs ice creams and candies..sobs...after syf im gonna eat them till im full....heheh...
i think tts all i want to say for now..hehe...bye..see ya

gargh~

2007-03-24T16:35:00.000+08:00

frankly ive been slacking to much these days..sigh..i know mid-year exam is coming yet i cant help slacking....i just feel like fainting when thinking about studying..sigh..sobs..im going to fall~
this morning i had tuition with charissa and she gave me somuch homework...and of course im not doing them now...my sis gave me extra el compre yet i dun feel like doing them..i know that my el is deproving and must study but like i said earlier~i will faint when thinking abt it..and i also havent done art and the dnt circuit thing..actually i must finish them by todae so next week dun nd to rush..and tmr i think i will be watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or Mr.Bean's Holiday...lol!!looking forward to it..hehe~so must finish hw and study todae..but i dun think i'll make it anywae..hahahaha!
anywae, the last post was for my "irritating" cousin..i shall tell u about us..she is at the same age as me and she is exactly one week older than me..we often played together since our houses were side by side...but in pri3 she went to another city because she couldn't stand the teacher in our school...i dun find it reasonable..but still smtms i think it is reasonable(lol!!cant make up my mind)...then we seldom met...we didnt meet each other every year, and we only communicated through letters...we didnt send letters by post but by asking our realatives to deliver them..i mean~~when her relative went to my town for some business, he/she will bring the the letter from her..then i must write a reply quickly before the relative went back to her place...so it was kinda slow since relatives dun really travel that much...
as a result news about each other travelled very slowly and when the time came to send a letter, we already forgot wad to write and in the end talked craps...sigh...wad can u get from craps anywae?wads a worse, i went to singapore and really dunno wads happening over there..lol!!and finally i made msn account and she found out about it..i was so happy coz finally we can communicate..but~~oh man~~she changed a lot..she has become an irritating "lady" who doesnt understand other people's feeling, stubborn, heartless, dun understand the meaning behind people's words!!i told her i hate the past yet she kept reminding me about it...i hate a person and told her not to talk about him anymore, yet she still does...and she keeps on offending my feeling that i feel like crying..and i feel like punching her face...no wonder her sister doesnt miss her at all..because she is so irritating...and maybe it is her family's fault for setting such environment for her to live in..sigh...i dunno wad to say anymore lah....everytime i think about her mistakes i feel like hitting my hands against the wall...and knocking my head against the mirror..and now she is in beijing visiting her sister..lol..so she is not online.....i still need time to cool down my head...sigh...okai..thats all i want to say for now..bye!see ya!!!=D

Hurt

2007-03-22T17:33:00.000+08:00

As a friend and a cousin,
i try to understand you.
I listen to you
and we share our secrets.

But what have you done to our relationship?
you destroy it
maybe only for a while
but you did it

Everyone likes praises
and i like praises
but you don't know that fact
and if you do, you deny it

when i say bad things about you
don't you feel offended?
same things go to everyone

maybe you were kidding when you said that to me
but still u should know
that i'm as fragile as a glass

maybe we don't know each other as well as before
we haven't met for many years and these two weeks
i've been happy to be able to communicate with you
finally~and again~

i don't know whether you are happy abt it
but i am
but you just spoiled my happiness and joy
with those piercing words

oh my cousin,
you hurt my feeling
and i hope we can mend our relationship
and that you can learn your mistake

finally can slack

2007-03-21T18:15:00.000+08:00

nyehehhe..finally i can slack today...yesterday and monday i was rushing with new homework...sigh..then todae mr elfie never came and we were given relief wk which i dun want to do..this is a chance to slack..heheehe...but i dunno whether i should play ps2 todae or not....coz the int conn in the room is very low and i nd a gamefaq..sigh...unless i download then outside first..hehe...good idea..why didnt i think of that just now...lol....but actuallt todae i am quite upset and i regret being too slack..my mt only get 29/40 which i think quite bad..i dunno...i expected 30 sth but i think 29 quite high lah horh...sigh..i dunno lah..then science and geo com test havent received the result yet..im scared but i know i wont get gd result coz i didnt really study..sigh....
anywae....back to daily life...my mon was borring coz apart from hw, there was nothing to do~somemore the int conn was super slow...i couldnt surf internet and could only chat...and there were not many people around..but my friend Phoebe saved me!!she suggested that i should start drawing manga again..lol...hehe..and im so happy to find that my skill has improved!!yay!!*clap for myself.....sigh....
yesterday was really busy~coz choir ended very late..heheh..and must do reasearch on science...grrrrrrrrr....hahahaz...but im so annoyed!!!some people copied my notes in the class just now....they cheated!!!i wasted so much effort on it and yet they are so heartless and copy like that...did they even try to find the info?sigh..but nvm..the disadvantage is also theirs right...
and now i dunno wad to do....i finished el already and i know my compo this time is lousy..hehe...and i dun want to do science...i finished maths also...so should i play or study after dinner????or go to doctor with my sis???(lol!!nothing better to do issit?!)
anywae..i go first..want to play 9dragons for a while before dinner..buai

bored~

2007-03-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

again todae was tiring and borring...this morning woke up at 9 and read some books before eating lunch and going back to schl for choir....just now i was like very scared of being late lah...the bus came at 11.05 and i was like sweating...i keep on cursing the bus coz it was so slow..then in the end i rached schl at 11.30.....i was like dots...i was so kanchiong for wad....it didnt even take 30 mins to reach schl from my house at that time of the day..sigh...then i tell myself that from now on dun nd to rush like that again...
and yea about the workshop at Nanhua sec schl was so so....and i still think tt we really have no hope...=(....i knew that i musnt be proud after hearing the other choirs sang...they didnt sing quite well and i knew i shouldnt be proud of that...but yet i did and the end our choir didnt perform quite well..but better than their performance lah...and now i feel guilty....just becoz of that feeling i spoiled the whole thing..sigh..sobs...
we were dismissed at 3.30...but waited for the bus to come till 4...sigh..then reached schl at 4 sth and went home straight away..i was rushing as i wanted to chat with my cousin...he was alwaes around at 4 to 5....but todae he wasnt around...sigh....
after dinner i didnt watch my Nan...coz i must "descipline" myself(yuck)....anywae~~~i must start studying for geo rite.....then i also had to finish charissa's hw....sigh.....and then here i am blogging...i think tts all i want to say for the day....bye...cya....zzzzzz

hw!?!?!?!

2007-03-15T18:06:00.000+08:00

sigh..just now had tuition with charissa..and i was shocked when i heard she is pregnant..wish all the best to her..hahaha..anywae she gave me a lot of hw and they are all to be handed in by sat..so sad lah..and i havent even started doing it...i feel very sianz when thinking abt homework now..and schl is starting soon..sobsobs...sigh...jia you Shanny!!!do ur homework so u wont be scolded..jkjk..wad a lame reason...do hw bcoz dun want to get scolded..sigh..maybe must do hw coz dun want to get d-merrit points?hehe!!
anywae todae so borring..i want Uzumaki!!!!long time never eat liao..i also miss Yoshinoya..sobs...but actually i am too lazy to go also..hehe...im a pig..pigpigpig...
ummmmmmmmmmm~~~dunno wad to say now...just now i felt as if there were many things to say..but now it seems so little..ermmm~~or maybe i forget wad i want to say already, yeah?(i become like Deidara who alwaes say "yeah")...lol...wad a bad memory i have here, yeah...sigh...okie...i go off first...and i can't wait to watch my pretty senior nan, yeah..khikhkikhi...bye..cya!!^^

changed blogskin

2007-03-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

well~~decided to change the blogskin coz so many people complaint abt it...sigh...and luckily i found this cute skin...naruto eating ramen!!!make me hungry...hehehe...
anywae, todae went to choir again...omg....i really loss hope...our standard drops like hell...n i really think we cant win..mr low was really upset with us...somemore got mr lee there just now...he was like looking for our mistakes and "repair" them..i dunno why but i think many members take him as an enemy..he is from TanjongKatong and some say that our schools are "enemy"....i want to forget that lah..it's like lame...why must we care abt that now...smtms i think he really hates us..coz when we sing badly, smtms he will just ignore it..sigh...arghhh!!!stop talking abt choir!!!!!!!!argh!!!stress~
and just now i watched hanakimi...senior Nan so handsome!!!!he is a pretty boy!!!!!kyaaa!!!*luvluvluv...i think Quan is nothing compared to him..well...tts my opinion..hehehehe...no offence to Quan's fans..well~he is cool also actually..hahha!
wah!shoulder ache...guess too long sitting here already...i go off first..bye..cya..n tmr is tuition...hehe...charissa keeps in postponing it...lol

phew~had so much fun

2007-03-13T17:19:00.000+08:00

hi!!!long time nvr blogged liao...well, partly because no internet connection...sigh...so i had been entertaining myself with books and homeworks(how sarcastic)...
on friday i had so much fun playing frisbee!!i want to play somemore but i doubt i'll have the time..if i have ill spend it indoors anywae..sigh...and our team came in the 3rd place...i didn't really take part in the competiton coz i became the reserved one two times..coz the guys wanna play..sigh...besides i dun think i played very well...hahaz...so just let them play..
then on saturday i went to choir...well...i didnt like to go back to schl but no choice...SYF is coming!!!and i feel like fainting when thinking abt it...guess it's worse than exams...sigh...i must practice hard for the sake of this choir....i already loss hope though..i dun think with our current standard we can win..sigh...sobsobs..if we can't get the gold of honors this year, all our seniors' efforts will just go to the drain...sigh....we will have to start all over again..and i dun think tt's wad we want..we must keep that gold of honors standard..but i doubt we can~~~argh!!!i want to believe we can do it..but~~~forget it
on sunday did hw again in the morning but my sis soon saved me by taking me to the IT show...woohooo~~~so many people over there..guess half of the population in singapore was there..hehe..
there was nothing much yesterday....just went to school for the leadership programme...craps...why did they sabotage me lah...i dun want to be the vice-chairman...they chose us but they never respected us...wads the point anywae...i want to quit being vice-chairman..but dun dare to say tt to mrs loh..."there will be chaos all over the world"..lol....so thick skin lah me....maybe if i just say it to her she will immediately say "yes"..heehee...and ylast night i went somewhere~~
anywae i forgot to say sth about my progress report..khekhe..i'm happy bout it but not abt el...i just cant do it..i practised hard in it but~~~sigh.....i easily give up leh..sigh...must try harder Shanny!!!!jia you!!!go shanny go!
and yea abt todae....yiqing's b'dae and phoebe's...lol....seems that many people borned on the 13th march..hehe..just now i went to west mall to get the dnt designs from stella...then went home immediately..and i also borrowed somebooks..sigh...wad a boring life.......
and i chat with tiara!!!!!!my dear childhood friend and my beloved cousin...long time never communicated with her becoz she was very busy..sigh...and todae we had the chance to talk..yay!!so happy..i want to meet her..but wonder when..sigh....it's like everyone says she is fat..but i dun think so..she very pretty...hehe...like a japanese....lol
i also chat with charlie....he got a lot of emoticons that before i read his messages i dizzy already...lolol!!!
i think tts all i want to sae..i dun noe wad else to say..sigh..see ya..pardon me if my posts are long-winded..hehe..buai

OH!!!i hate him now

2007-03-01T19:38:00.000+08:00

Now i understand why seniors have been saying that he is not a gd teacher at all...he can't teach properly and he is unreasonable..he got scolded by the HOD but then said that it is our fault...it's not our fault at all!!It's him who nvr teach properly...i admired him once but now~~he is just very unreasonable and unfair...dunno wads in his mind..he doesnt suit to be a teacher at all!!!argh!!!!i know it is a disadvantage to hate him...it won't do any gd to me...but it affects me..i can't study now...tmr is sci class test...but i cant concentrate....argh!!!
enough enough enough!!!!!!!!let's talk sth else....ooh ya!!!!PE todae was "fun"....lolol...not fun lah~~but i could run!!!!i dunno how long was it~but i could run without stopping!!!yay!!!maybe it was just a short distance..hehe...
anywae there is a lot of homework to do over the weekends....sigh...so sad~~and i still havent do charissa's hw..i dun want to dissapoint her anymore..and i want to improve my english...well~~i guess i won't be studying for sci for tmr class test..i'll be studying my el todae..sigh...i just dun want to think abt it anymore...i know i'll be upset if i get a bad result for sci...but i try to forget abt it for the time being...i dun care if tmr i fail...tts a consequence i have to take if i dun study...i just cant study for sci todae..so forget it~

tired~~~

2007-02-28T16:55:00.000+08:00

sigh~~~i'm so tired..everyday do homework at schl during recess..then i feel very stupid coz i was so stressed doing geo hw..i thought it was to be handed in tmr..sigh...sobsobs....
yesterday was choir..i dun noe why but i felt very happy yesterday..usually i felt so sianz during choir but yesterday i didnt...i wonder why...sigh....
these days i have been having headache and shoulder ache but of course not as bad as my sister's..lololol!!!then today was okay..hehe...except maths coz i was kinda lost...i didnt know wad she was talking...but then in the end after scribble there and here i understand how to do the eqn..sigh...
i feel like not coming to schl tmr becoz of PE...sigh..i dun want to run...i dunno why this year i cant run anymore..grow fatter?or no insipiration?sigh...."i like PE!I want to run tmr!so please 'dun rain tmr'"...so fake!!!nvm..."i love PE....Yay tmr PE!!!"
okie..bye...cya!!

D-gray man epi 20

2007-02-25T18:10:00.000+08:00

Well...pictures i took from Dgray-man episode 20...this collection is just of Lavi and Allen..I haven't added Lenallee's, her stupid bro's, and Kanda's...lol...maybe next time...i have been wondering abt this lately~Dgray-man has a gd ctoryline and graphic..and the characters are great..but why is it not very popular?and why are there not so many wallpapers on this anime?so i'm just thinking of promoting this anime on my blog...i know tt my blog is not tt popular..but~I LIKE THE DGRAY-MAN!!!(maybe i like almost all animes...i'm an anime freak remember?)just as much as i like Naruto (and other animes..lame isn't it?)....so i'll update the picts gradually..=D

and about episode 20..i was actually very surprised when i watched the part when Lavi was "burning" when he saw that "pretty but evil" lady...sigh..i didn't expect him to be the pervert guy in this anime..u noe~~every anime will have the pervert guy...lololol!!it's so unbelievable..i mean he looks so cool!!!but he is a pervert..lolol!!okie..see ya around!!bye bye!

unfairunfairunfairUNFAIR!!!

2007-02-25T12:09:00.000+08:00

I have been rushing with all my homework this weekends so that todae i can study for science class test..but somehow i just realized this morning that all the notes and the worksheets are all with mr elfie!!!!!so unfair!!!how to study like tt?!use textbook!?the textbook very useless one..he alwaes gives qs out of textbooks one loh..alwaes from the notes lah!!!!!garghhh!!!!!!!!!!sobsobsobs...he so evil dhe....i protest!!!=(
this week is very tiring somemore tt my friends often caught me in a very bad mood...i frowned and screamt a lot because of that horrible filings!!!!i hate to do filing lah!!!i mean~i have no prob filing but people will go and borrow my files loh...then in the end i'll be confused..i dunno where my files are..who they are with...sigh...tt is the result of having a short term memory..sigh...garghh!!!!sobobsobs..i'm so sad this week..i'm stressed!!!!i can't stand it!!!!gargh!!!i dun want to go to schl tmr!!!!!),= stressed stressed..my brain is exploding!!!gargh!!!!

Naruto shiippuden 3

2007-02-24T18:12:00.000+08:00

i'm here just to post pictures..i dun feel like posting anything else...one sentence from me to describe this week~"It's tiring!!"

2007-02-21T15:41:00.000+08:00

poor Naruto
Sai, an expressionless guy
poor Kakashi after realizing Sasuke's name is a taboo to the team..

after chinese new year holiday~~

2007-02-21T15:13:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!finally went to schl..not that i like to go to schl...but u know...finally i will not be bored anymore..i'll have thing to do and i will forget abt getting bored..isnt that gd?hahahaz..anywae..i think i'll throw away the idea of posting on a picture...very troublesome..hahaz...i dun care if u have difficulties reading my blog...coz i can read!!muahahahahaha(talking to myself...and i noe i'm evil...)
neh~~schl todae was as usual...and actually i love wed..except the assembly part..coz we alwaes go home early on wed!!!=D...and just now i saw Mr Low in a glaring red shirt!!!!!!OMG!!!i was like gaping there lah...but i think his taste is still better than mr nelson kwei's..hahahz...well!tmr is 2.4 again...so sad loh...sobsobs..and i hate to do filing!!!they nvr tell us properly the arrangement except some teachers lah...sigh...okie..i think i'll stop here..dun feel like posting anything else...maybe some naruto's pict?see ya!!=D

trc skin

2007-02-20T19:32:00.000+08:00

2007-02-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

my my~

2007-02-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is borring!!!cannot go anywhere and just stay at home the whole day..and the food was not very yummy...lol!!!and my house is very messy..it doesnt feel like home at all..and i also dun feel like doing homework..sigh...but i did~coz the due date is coming(isnt it obvious?)...and i woke up at 9 every morning!!!!i dunno why..but i couldnt sleep very well...sobsobsobs....and tonite is the last night of freedome..tmr morning mom is coming back..but onite i also cant stay late..coz charissa is coming tmr on 9.30...so must wake up early..sobsobsobs...and yea~~last sat, my sis and i watched epic movie..tt movie is super lame~!!the beginning was very nice..but towards the middle and the end it is very very bad...n its not for PG kk~~sigh..and the ending part was disgusting...yuckk~~

and todae we watched dreamgirls..it was super long...more than 2 hours...but it was very nice..and their voices is superb!!hahahaz...i want the songs!!!lolz...and the story is sad...my cousin teared a few times..lol!!

and yea!!finally!!!Naruto season two is here!!its not Naruto anymore..it's Naruto Shiippuden!!!i was very tired of fillers..2 years ago they said they were going to continue with the main story..but it didnt happen until last week...lols!!!and the graphics and the details are much better..and i realize tt naruto's eyes are much darker now..hahaz...nice colour tt is...lol!!!and i love DGray-man..i wonder why it is not very popular..i mean~its not as popular as naruto is...or maybe because it is a new anime????i wonder..but the storyline is nice!!!and the characters are very pretty and handsome...except the Akumas of course..they are nuts and super ugly..hahahaz!!!anywae~~i think tts all i wanna say...i go off first..buai!!!!see ya!!!

sad~

2007-02-15T20:45:00.000+08:00

i'm so sad todae..and i was feeling very sick~i guess it is because of 2.4 km run...sigh...i'll nvr do well in PE anywae~~i dun like it...mrs tham alwaes says tt if u want to do well in sth tt u can't achieve easily, u must keep on saying to yourself tt u like it...well..i have not tried doing tt to PE....shall try it next time...lololol!!!
and then we were supposed to give out those golden ribbonsto the NUS staff and students..well~~feel gd for doing it for the children with cancer but i was feeling so sick..and i fell down~~poor thing...sigh..the whole day i felt very giddy..i dunno why...most likely because of PE..lol...i alwaes want to practise 2.4, but nvr did...no time..but when i got the time, i dun fl like doing it..sigh...
i'm so sad todae because of my el..i dun know the result yet but i know i'm the lowest in class...i'm very upset..mrs tham already said tt it is a girl in our calss who got the lowest in the whole level..only 4.5/25...abt there~~who else if it is not me??cannot be their el is tt bad rite?i already expected from the start that i'm going to fail..but i nvr expect to fail tt badly..sobsobs...but no use regretting it now....i guess i must work harder for el next time.......sigh...i've been convincing myself tt "i like el"..but the end its still like this...i'm so dissappointed..but really~~i think i didnt try hard enough..i must put more effort next time...sigh..if compre is already like this then how abt my summary?n i think tt my el is not improving at all..last year i failed my el in term 1..and now i failed even more badly..wad's tt!?i dunno wads in my head when im doing tests and exams..when im doing usual papers or practices, im not tt bad..at least i can get wad the passage is trying to say...but when come to exams and tests???wads with me seriously!?~~~
i think tts all i want to say abt todae.........bye..cya.....

this week was chaotic

2007-02-10T13:09:00.000+08:00

sigh~i tell u..i dun want to be a vice chairman or wadever!!!!!argh!!!its so stressful....sigh...it's just very irritating..i'm not used to it yet..sigh...sobs...and this week is chionging like wad lah..everything must be by friday...and as a result~only got maths hw for weekend...well~tts a gd thing...but~~if alwaes chionging like tt then how?sigh...

anywae~next mon is el com test again~sobs..im so scared lah..my comprehension is alwaes horrible..but luckily no summary this time..khekhekhe..so happy..but still i think i'm gonna fail this time very badly~like last year..sigh....my el has alwaes been horrible anywae...

and ive moved to new blogger account..i actually didnt want to...but then~just try..hhehehe..and here i am..i dun noe abt the new blogger yet so hope i'll get used to it soon...

todae~~i dun think i'll be doing my maths now...maybe i should play first..buahahahhaha...but i feel very sleepy..todae woke up very early just to do charissa's hw..anywae, lately ive been doing her hw last min..and i think it has been like tt since a long time ago??lololol!!!okie..see ya!!!i still dunno wad to do after this thou..either continue watching dgray-man(it rawks!), play ff12 or get myself used to new blogger..so maybe ill do weird2 things to my blog???hahahahahz!!!okay..bye!cya!

confused..n i feel im bloated with emotions

2007-01-30T20:34:00.000+08:00

i got a lot of things to say todae..i dun noe why but i just feel like posting abt my feelings todae..it's sad lah~~i mean~first thing first, i want to talk about sb in choir lah~who can't sing well because alwaes out of tunes..those from choir especially sops will noe who is this person...
i just feel very bad for him lah..i mean many people, including myself, have been saying that he cant sing well and tt dun think he is supposed to be in choir...but have u tried anything to help him?have u tried to help him improve his singing?no right..ill say no also lah..just be frank here..
we are supposed to be helping him and telling him on his face tt he is out of tune and tt he nds to concentrate more on the notes...maybe some of us already did tt..but theres no point in just telling him like tt...i can see that he has been trying to sing in tune lah~i also dunno his problem..why he keeps on singing the wrong notes...i would really want to talk to him and help him loh..sigh...but u noe~~i wont be able to do it..lol..im just very helpless...and i really nd some help here..and i realize, and i think most of us realize, that he is very creative and that he is very gd in art lah...his crafting skill is gd and his drawing skill is okay..and i really think tt his place is nt in choir..im not offending lah..but really~~its not gd to continue like this~
okay~i think tts enough abt it..i dun care wad u're thinking after u read those above..maybe u think im very very kepo..wadever~i noe im kepo...but i just want to post abt it lah..i nd to pour it out of me~somewhere~..
and another thing is~~i guess my sis noe abt it..and of course she has to know about it..
to be frank, i was very shocked when i saw her do tt to u last night..i felt like hiding in my room and cover my head with my blanket lah...it was~~scary~~and smtms i agree wif u tt she~~~aiya..u noe wad i mean lah...but still i think u're wrong to do tt to her..i mean~~~hoe to say~~i noe u were trying to help her..u were helping her finding tt troublesome thing(tt stupid thing!!!which cause so much trouble)...and she did tt to u just because u "aduk-aduk" her things which sounds stupid lah...so~~why didnt u just listen and dun say anything to her?u talked back she would say u are "kurang ajar"...which is very hurting, even to my ears..just angguk2 and say "fine"...i noe u cant say "sorrie" to her..i understand tt coz she is also at the wrong...sigh...and the trouble now is~u cant say in front of her tt she is also wrong~coz it will make the matter worse coz she thinks u are very very "kurang ajar"...and it is also bad if she thinks tt she is alwaes right...sigh...but really..cant do anything abt it..and do u noe wad she alwaes do after u two "kelahi"?she bakal say all her feelings to me and wad she thinks abt u and starts describing hal2 jelek abt u...sigh..and i just listen~smtms ill cover my ears and dun hear a word she says..i really think tt she is stress lah..coz after she talks abt her feelings abt u she will be very quiet and she will be very nice loh...lol...which means tt she nds sb to convide to....tts wad i think...and also~~~i dunno why~~but dia selalu punya negative thoughts abt u~~i dunno wad makes her think like tt..is it becoz jie sering keramputin her before?aiya!i dunno lah.....sigh.....see~this kind of thing affect the whole keluarga lah..sigh...
tts just wad i think and feel...pardon me if the words hurt u...but tts wad i really feel..lol...okay..i think tts all..i feel very comfortable after i say all this things..lol!!okay~i think i will stop here..bye..see ya...

code geass epi 14

2007-01-25T18:08:00.000+08:00

well...todae was so scary...english i meant...i received my result and i just passed..well..at least i passed..i thought i failed...sigh..
scholl todae was quite okay..about the dance thing was like very diao~lol!!when we slid i almost fell down coz it was at the hall...lol....
nothing much to sae abt schl..maybe coz now my head is filled with things i wanna say abt code geass episode 14..it is damn sad loh...and i didnt expect the story to be like tt lah..poor shirley..she was in dilemma..almost killed Leouluch somemore..and if those pictures didnt fell from his jacket, she would have killed him lah..poor shirley...in the end her memory was erased by leouluch coz he didnt want her to tell anyone who is zero..sigh..damn sad..stupid leouluch..but if he didnt do tt then shirley will suffer also..she would become nuts lah..lol..
in the end he realized how important shirley is as his friend..and about that crazy guy Mao....nuts i tell u...he is scary lah..its like..when he met C.C.,he was like,"C.C.!i'll come to you!!C.C.!WAIT!!i'll come right away..hehehehehe"....eeeekkkk...crazy lah tt guy!!C.C. was expressionless as usual..n she definitely made a contract with tt crazy guy before lah..coz he got two geass loh!!jkjk..
okay~enough of these code geass things...anywae..i feel like changing skin..but dunno wad to change it with..i got a lot of gd wallpapers but i dunno which one to use..sigh...shall decide soon..soon~okay...i think tts all i want to say for todae..and ya~one more thing..i like the code geass song called "stories"..ill try to put it on my blog if i can..lol...its a bit hard to listen to wad the words but the song quite nice..bye~cya!!

my sorethroat!!

2007-01-22T21:13:00.000+08:00

my gosh......im so upset todae lah..why should my throat torturing me..well..at least it is better..tis morning i couldnt even speak..if i spoke i would cough..and during choir i couldnt sing..i tried but gave up...i would just spoil the whole song..lol..
and yea~~im upset coz i couldnt sing..but it was fun watchin mr low conducting the whole choir..lol..and i have gotten into SYF!!well..at least for mow..ms loh said tt it was not e final result..n tt some people would still get kicked out from syf...lol..
getting into syf has its advantages n disadvantages..it is tiring..coz must come to every practice while those who are not chosen dun nd to go..sigh...but it is very honourable..lol...well..i cant think of other advantages and the disadvantages..lol...
and i didnt get into maths olympiad..lol..who cares...if i get in i must pay money n it will be tiring also..sigh..and abt todae's maths com test~~it was horrible lah!!i think i wont score very gd one lorh..sigh..n i almost didnt complete e paper...sobs..guess ive not been practising well..besides u noe yesterday i played ff the whole day..sigh..
i just finished doing the stall banners for IT...quite fun actually..photoshop is very fun lah...whenever im bored just play around with photoshop then okay liao..hahaz..n abt the banners~~only some are gd...the la petisserie is very badly done..it is very ugly!!!=(
think tts all i want to say..lol..dun noe wad else to say..then bye~~cya!!=)

fever2 please be gone

2007-01-21T20:02:00.000+08:00

oooh man~~~~feeling so sick....it feels as if im dreaming..well..i guess tts becoz im very stubborn..doctor asked me to rest but i played my ff instead..sigh..cant be helped..im addicted to ff12..well yea the battle system is irritating..but because of cheats, it becomes very easy..lol...
as a result of playing too much, now i feel very sleepy and i dun noe whether tmr ill be okay or not..i guess ill be fine..no..i hope ill be fine and ill definitely be fine....lol...
and tmr got choir~~sigh...i think i wont be able to sing??sigh..and i heard tt nelson kwei will come on tues..so sad lahz~~
i dun feel like blogging actually..i blogged for e sake to update it..so yea~~bye..cya...

Home sweet Home...at last

2007-01-19T15:26:00.000+08:00

HI!!long time no see!!now i'll start from my camp life...lol...i tell u..it was fun but..........
yea~~so..it was fun..very fun..during the days we had so much fun that i did not even remember abt home...but when night came and when i got very tired, i remembered home and felt like crying..i felt loneliness and emptiness inside me...sometimes i wondered why i could stand it so far..and i also wondered why my sis could stay in sg these 7 years without mom...it is because there was my brother who took care of her?
this feeling kept me awake at night..and i'm very grateful that i had stella beside me..if not..i dunno wad would happen..maybe i would cry...i would scream..if she wasnt there at night, if we didnt keep talking and changiing subjects that night, i would cry very loudly...im sure she didnt know abt this lah..but im telling u abt it now..
change subject now..enough of tt...wad is so fun abt the camp??umm..i dunno how to describe it lah..i mean~we had a lot of fun activities...and CJ our instructor was very gd..and she is the prettiest among alll instructors...lol!!and abt the bunk..not bad~~and the food..!!they were surprisingly gd!!delicious!!we were also very enthu during the camp lah..haha..
so tts the summary..lol...i noe its lame...but i dun feel like typing now..i know tt this post is halfway done...but i dun care!!i dun want to type anymore...bye..see ya...

3rd day

2007-01-05T18:19:00.000+08:00

sigh..today is tiring as usual..and i've been feeling very unsettled dhe...u noe..mrs loh asked me yesterday to draw the wastepaper basket the broom and etc things for e class mah..but then whenever i went to general office, mdm hairun was not there..sigh..i wanted to try to go there after schl but i was too lazy larh..jkjk..bad habit~
and this morning i was very scared larh..i forgot to bring mt book lorh..i was scared tt mrs loh would scold me for not giving gd eg to the class..lol!!!besides tt it would be my first time getting d merrit points..i forgor to bring mt books also last time but i borrowed book from sb so i was saved..lol!!!i'm so bad~but in the end i didnt get caught coz it is first week of schl mah...so d merrit points only start next week...
todae's lessons are quite okay..i like the el's teacher somehow..she is very cheerful and her lesson is fun..mr elfie is right..she is not like mdm tan...lol!!!and abt science lesson it was as usual...mr sexy man..lol!!it seems tt i didnt tell u abt that on my previous post..lol!!but yea~i don want to talk abt it..muahaha..
and art was ussual..and abt the dt...sigh..i dun like the teacher..he is scary?...especially mr soh or mr so?(wadever..u noe who i meant)..after schl ended finally i ate at this cantten..i havent been able to eat there larh..just now we also had difficulty in finding the seat..lol..so many people larh..one whole schl eh..its not just the juniors..seniors also there larh..i feel somehow the new schl system is very dissapointing le....sigh..i dunno how abt the rest of the schl larh bt i just feel so....sigh
then i took my books which i had ordered long time before from the bookshop..lol!!i also didnt take them the days before coz the q was very long..sigh..at 2 o'clock was choir..before 2 me and eunice went to lib..before tt we heard stella and friends want to go libe so yea~we thought it was a gd idea so we went there also larh..no much different..i meant the books..the envi changed but still it was very empty..the com were not even installed yet...
and choir..hmmm..we parctised up and down the stage for many times...i dunno..i didnt feel comfortable lorh..maybe because i had not been going to practice lately?maybe it is..i just felt i couldnt sing properly..i was scared i sang the wrong notes..n abt the stomping and clapping things are very irritating..i was very scared tt i took the wrong steps larh...sigh..long time never practise lorh..sigh..the audition thing is also making me nerveous larh...i just came back from indo..never came to practice and suddenly they said there would be an audition for syf thing..sigh...maybe i wont be able to pass..and i will be happy...but not completely for my mark will go down..drop like a stone...sigh
after finished practising up and down the stage we were dismissed..yay!!so happy!!lol!!it was 4.30 so tt was early....and yea..i think i'll stop here..i dunno wad else to write..lol...these days heve been very relax..so i dunno when it will get tough..i dunno when the hw will start coming like a flood...lol...n i dunno when i will blog again..so just wish i can blog again asap...bye..see ya..

2007-01-03T16:32:00.000+08:00

well...sure it is tiring todae...sigh...first day of schl man~~~~and i totally forgot abt report bk..luckily the teacher didnt really notice abt it...instead i brought those heavy books..sigh~so next time on e first day of schl shouldnt bring anything...lol!

and todae the schl was very crowded..i didnt wear my specs so i couldnt see anyone i know in the canteen..so just waited beside the staircase there..lol!!and met no one except jeremy....sigh...and then announcement came n we were to assemble at the parade square....and tt was when i saw Eunice..she just arrived...lol!!!so went with her to the toilet..we also met joelyn and noel?ummm..i cant remember...sorrie...or was that miao ling??umm...

so yea~~~walked all the way to e front and sat down accroding to reg no...and finally met stella...after that speeches flag rising reading and spot checking?lucky i cut my nails already and i didnt realise tt my socks are quite long until then...lol!!!

after that went to our class..yea finally!!i had been wondering where our class would be..and i was very dissapointed..eventhough we will be having the wind blowing at us, it is on the 4th floor!!we have to climb all the way up to reach it..sigh...and it is all the way back of the whole schl compound..sigh...and our mentor now is mrs loh...different loh of course..

and we were voting the 7 comitte members..and u noe wad..i am the vice-chairman..i am happy tt they voted for me and i appreciate it but...~~i just want to be ordinary student...go to schl, study, do hw and go for cca..but not taking care of these kinds of things...i dunno whether it will be difficult but mrs loh made it sounds like one...sigh...besides i'm not that saociable if u noe wad i mean..maybe i have gd result but it doesnt mean i have the qualities to be a leader..well i'm not really the leader but still i'm the vice...sigh..wadever~~but since they voted 4 me already i would do my best..i won't let them regret chosing me..lol!!

then went to the hall and listened to mrs teo's speech..sigh..it was very long somemore...my body longed to stand up till i had difficulty standing up..sigh..after that went back to classs and waited for mr elfie but he came very late...but then afetr a few mins later mrs loh came and said it was her lesson..so mr elfie went out...lol!!!then she told us wad to bring every maths lessons and we continued the voting...and bla bla bla...after tt schl ended and i went to choir...but ms loh said practice was cancelled so she just briefed us for a while on the open house thing..bla bla bla~~~

so went home earlier..but i bought a bread and accompanied eunice as she wanted to buy the boooks...in the end i went to e side gate and she went through the front one...but the side gate was close...sigh..so went to the front gate lorh n went 2 e bus stop from there...it was far larh..and wad is the use of the side gate?sigh..

okay..i think i stopped here first...bye..see ya...